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Whether among celebrities or in our own circle, we all know a couple composed of a young woman and a (much) older man. How can we explain that some women are attracted to men of a certain age? Psychologists answer this question.
Vincent Cassel and Tina Kunakey, Al Pacino and Noor Alfallah or Anna Nicole Smith and J. Howard Marshall… What do these celebrity couples have in common? You probably guessed it: the age gap between the very young wife and the older husband. Why do some women choose this type of partner? The DailyMail interviewed psychologists who provide their perspective on the issue.
Women who deal with deep insecurity
According to psychologist Sam Vaknin, “These women feel entitled to access a beautiful life, to luxury, without having to work. For them, it is a form of total independence and this is due to the narcissism what these women express towards their persons”. For him, it is this feeling that pushes them to behave in this way.
Other women turn to older men because of deep insecurity. That’s the view of Dr. Catherine Nobile, director of Nobile Psychology in New York, who explains: “From an evolutionary perspective, women may be inclined to seek out partners who can provide stability and resources, traits often associated with older, wealthier men. For these women, a relationship with a wealthier partner is a way to ensure a stable and comfortable lifestyle, especially if they have experienced financial difficulties or lack strong support.”
Behavior in response to a difficult childhood
For Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a licensed clinical psychologist at Northwestern University, “A woman who grew up in an emotionally unstable home may want someone she feels is a rock, a really secure anchor.”
According to her, these women have generally grown up being “deprived of attention and affection.” They may feel particularly comforted when they are “reassured” from a material and emotional point of view.
A dysfunctional relationship with a parent can also shape a person’s preferences for such partners. Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, argues that our relationships with adults reflect how our parents treated us.
She says if a woman seeks the security of a father figure in her relationships, it suggests she may not have received proper care from her own father.Women who need the security of a father figure are said to have been poorly supported by their own fathers. As evidenced by the subsequent search for security with an older man” she says.
A choice assumed by these men too
In this type of relationship, it is not only women who benefit. Men also benefit, living vicariously through their partner’s youth and benefiting from their beauty and physical attractiveness. According to Dr. Solomon, “By choosing it, man gains access to a sort of fountain of youth. Which has no financial value but a sort of psychological value.”.
A fact reinforced by society, which mainly conditions women to low-ranking positions and often limited professional careers. For some, marriage still remains the main means of ensuring financial stability and social status.
Slideshow: Celebrity couples: the age difference doesn’t scare them!