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Is there a recipe for living in true harmony with your partner? A Harvard psychiatry professor seems to have 6 rules to follow to feel fulfilled as a couple. To be tested.
What do we look for in a balanced romantic relationship? The answer is simple: to be appreciated at one’s true worth, which would even be the cornerstone of all relationships in the world, according to Joseph Shrand, MD, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. But to do this, we would simply have to act in the same way: “Every time you remind someone of their value, you increase your own value,” he emphasizes in the magazine Psychology Today. How to do it on a daily basis? The expert shares several precepts to keep in mind.
Never lie
Relationships are built on trust. And respect leads to value, and value leads to trust. With that trust, you can be who you are without worrying about being judged as less valuable.”This is how you make a relationship last forever, where you can share your differences of opinion openly and honestly and you can respect without having to agree,” the expert reminds us. But to be honest, we must therefore avoid lying.
Be attentive to others
The second tip is to stay aware of the other person. If they seem happy, sad, angry, scared, confused or uncertain, notice it and ask them if you are right.By asking the question, you communicate that you are not only attentive but you care about the other” “By reminding your partner of their value, you can reduce their anger, anxiety, sadness, doubts and start the conversation leading to a deeper understanding,” the psychiatrist emphasizes.
Remember the little things that matter
Saying “I love you” or expressing gratitude at least once a day is not a detail.Every time you do something kind, you remind someone of their value. Every time you remind someone of their value, you increase your own value, and everyone wants to feel valuable.” For this, it is not only the grand gestures that count, the small attentions remain just as important.
Stop worrying, but be amazed
It’s about being curious and interested in what the person is doing, without being in constant judgment.”Be thoughtful rather than impulsive. We are all doing our best.” the expert reminds us. In this case, let’s go back to this question of trust: trust your other half, and explain why you do what you do without fear of being considered less valuable. Also welcome the other’s actions and decisions in the same way.
Laugh together every day
Laughing with each other is an expression of joy. It is this joy of being together, of wanting to be together and of loving being together that allows a relationship to last a lifetime. So take advantage of it whenever the opportunity arises, especially since laughter also releases oxytocin, the neurohormone of trust. In short, never deprive yourself of it.
Talk with each other, not at each other
Conflicts exist, of course, but they should be an opportunity to talk and open up about issues that concern you and not to criticize others without listening. For the psychiatrist, the argument should only serve as a starting point for discussing different points of view. And to accept our mistakes too. Not to send each other strings of reproaches.
Valuable advice, which has made the psychiatrist’s relationship last since 1978. The secret to longevity?
Slideshow: The 10 secrets of couples that last