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Reading 2 min.
in collaboration with
Siyana Mincheva (Psychologist, psychotherapist)
When you start a relationship, feelings are so strong that you usually forget that the way you behave with your other half will change over time. And indeed, over the years, a kind of routine sets in and means that you no longer really try to prove your feelings to the other. How to avoid this? Advice from Siyana Mincheva, psychologist.
The beginnings of a romantic relationship are often idyllic: outings, intimate moments, long discussions… Lovers seem to be on cloud nine, with nothing to bring them back to reality. Then, over time, discussions become rarer, outings less frequent and intimacy reduced to brief moments. How can we explain that a routine sets in within a couple?
Over time, feelings are taken for granted.
All couples end up, over time, telling themselves that the other knows how much they love them and that there is no point in proving it at every moment. While this may be partially true, the fact remains that a relationship needs to be maintained and reminding your other half of the nature of your feelings for them, without waiting for the 36th of the month, remains important, even if you have been together for 10 years.
Indeed, communication in a couple is essential and stopping sharing your feelings but also your needs and desires with the person who shares your life is a common mistake.
A distance sets in… and can become a real problem
At this stage, the couple no longer shares much, except for bills and the education of children, when there are any. When we gradually forget our relationship, we will tend to no longer count on the other in the event of a hard time or to hide certain things from them. So much so that in some couples, the partners end up turning away from each other and signing the end of the relationship.
When asked, Siyana Mincheva reveals her point of view on the issue.The mistake that occurs here in the couple is about assumptions: we assume that the other knows that we love him, there is no point in telling him. It is important to understand that we cannot function with assumptions.” recalls the expert.
“Just like taking personally what may be said during a dispute of the couple, which leads to the creation of internal conflicts and dissatisfaction within the relationship“.
The important thing is to function as a team and to know the priorities of the couple and to respect them.”Listening and communication must be your allies to align with each other. The trust between the two partners will only be strengthened and the efforts made towards each other will represent a real proof of love” she concludes.
Slideshow: 15 ways to tell him “I love you” differently!