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Reading 2 min.
in collaboration with
Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical psychologist)
Setting clear boundaries in a romantic relationship is essential for everyone’s well-being. But which ones do you need to know? The response from Amélie Boukhobza, psychologist.
When you lose your temper and words overwhelm your thoughts, a line is crossed. Likewise, when your spouse goes through your phone without permission, another boundary is violated. So to maintain a healthy balance, while respecting each other’s living space, certain limits must be set. Decryption.
Setting a frame: a necessity for the couple
“In a relationship, arguments are almost inevitable, even essential, to say things that are not said otherwise. However, it is essential to define clear limits which must not be crossed otherwise we will destroy the other person… and the relationship.“, recalls Amélie Boukhobza in the preamble.
Indeed, if setting limits and respecting them is not easy – this initiative requires communication, understanding and mutual respect within the couple – it is nevertheless vital. Boundaries help each partner understand what is acceptable and what is not.
They also provide an emotional framework (knowing that the other respects your limits allows you to feel safe) and allow everyone to be autonomous without fear of encroaching on the other’s secret garden.
The 3 important boundaries every couple should consider
- Don’t be afraid. “Fear has no place in a romantic relationship. No threats, no intimidation, no aggressive behavior. Don’t even leave without saying where you’re going. This leaves the other person worried, and therefore insecure. A healthy relationship is based on a feeling of mutual security, where everyone feels protected and respected.”recalls Amélie Boukhobza.
- Do not humiliate or belittle. “Humiliation and belittling can cause deep and lasting emotional damage. It’s totally destructive and devastating! Respectful communication is essential to resolve issues. Conflicts. Valuing others and avoiding hurtful words are fundamental bases for maintaining each person’s dignity and self-esteem.”confides the expert.
- Don’t make anyone jealous. “Nothing worse than jealousy for the relationship! To make one jealous is to insert a flaw in the relationship with one’s partner which will never disappear. This is creating a dangerous breach! Transparency and trust are crucial to preventing jealousy. It is important to reassure the partner and above all to avoid behaviors that could sow doubt“, concludes the expert psychologist.
Now you know how to establish healthy boundaries in your romantic relationship.
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