“Milestoning”, or when you look for a partner so as not to be alone at a special event

Going to events or foreign countries while single can be awkward for some people. Seeing couples around you can reinforce feelings of loneliness. Some then prefer to look for a temporary partner for the occasion. In the world of dating, this behavior is called “milestoning”. Meaning “one-off relationship” in French, this term refers to the search for a partner only for a specific event, such as a dinner with friends, a wedding, or even a trip.

The partner appears affectionate and romantic, motivated only by the upcoming event. But once the event has passed, the milestoner distances itself and disappears overnight. This type of relationship can resemble situationship, a relationship without labels, but with one major difference. Unlike situationship where the partner avoids any sign of formalization, the “milestoner” formalizes his romantic situation in public.

For enthusiasts, milestoning has several advantages. First, this technique allows you to quickly find people who meet your expectations. According to Emma Hathorn, relationship expert for the dating site Seeking, interviewed by Metro UK : “This allows you to get to the point much faster instead of wasting time and spending countless hours getting to know each other better. It’s a crash course in your potential life together“. This way, you avoid unpleasant surprises. Milestoning is also an effective way to get a quick overview of your date’s behavior in society.

However, this method can be toxic for both parties. According to Emma Hathorn, if you’re looking for someone just for an event, you risk treating them like a mere accessory, without considering their feelings. For the person playing the role of casual partner, the experience can be complex. Being invited to an event when you don’t know the other person well can be awkward, and it would seem more appropriate to go as part of a more established relationship. Not to mention the risk of developing feelings for someone who is only looking for a temporary companion. In addition, the dynamic between the two partners is completely turned upside down once the event has passed. The other person may become distant, express frustration and even “ghost” you overnight without a clear explanation.

This practice is therefore more suitable for self-confident people who manage to detach themselves easily. To avoid any emotional hurt, it is crucial to clarify your expectations from the start to avoid giving false hope to someone who could become sincerely attached. It is also important to ensure the person’s good intentions before agreeing to a meeting with them.

In short, milestoning can be a practical solution to not being alone at an event, but it carries emotional risks that are important not to neglect. Transparency and communication are essential to ensure that this practice is a positive experience for all parties involved.

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