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When we are in a relationship, it can happen that people try to seduce us while knowing that we are already in a romantic relationship. Whether it takes the form of subtle flirtations or direct advances, this need to attract people who are already taken has a name: “mate poaching”.
Have you ever received advances from someone even though you had clearly indicated that you were in a relationship? If so, know that this situation has a name: “mate poaching”. This term, which could be translated into French as “companion poaching”, consists of attracting or seducing people already engaged in a romantic relationship. This annoying practice can take different forms: from flirting to emotional manipulation, including direct advances aimed at damaging the existing relationship.
To achieve their ends, the mate poachers “often exploit perceived vulnerabilities or dissatisfaction within their target’s relationship to increase their chances of success“, explains Kevin Bennett, professor of social psychology, in an article in Psychology Today. But why do they adopt this behavior? Still according to the psychologist, these people would feel “increased excitement and enthusiasm about hitting on individuals already in a relationship, driven by factors such as novelty seeking and ego validation“. In addition, people flirting with individuals already in a relationship would share certain character traits, such as a “narcissistic personality, unfaithful, extroverted and open to free relationships“.
According to some studies, this behavior is unfortunately quite common in our society. He is even at the origin of the creation of certain couples. A study American published in 2004 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, conducted in 53 different countries, with 17,000 individuals, reports that 10 to 15% of current relationships are born from successful “mate poaching” by one of the two partners. .
However, this tactic would work depending on the couple’s stage of commitment. Another study conducted by American and British researchers in 2017, published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, shows that the higher the commitment, the less likely couples are to give in to temptation. For example, married or cohabiting couples would be less tempted to leave their partner for someone else.
However, this hunt for companions is not without consequences. For the victims, “This can lead to emotional distress, guilt and reputational damage, particularly if the behavior is discovered or condemned by peers“, explains Kevin Bennett. This problematic behavior can also lead to a loss of trust and commitment within existing relationships, and lead to a deterioration of the relationship, or even a breakup. This is why it is essential to take distances himself from the mate poachers, in order to protect his relationship.
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