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Among the behaviors to avoid as a parent, Eggshell parenting, perceived as poor control of one’s emotions as an adult, can have serious consequences on children’s development. Decryption.
Perfect parents don’t exist. It’s normal to make mistakes, to correct yourself, to not always get the solution the first time. But some parents may, without knowing it, adopt toxic parenting for their child. This is the case with Eggshell Parenting, poor management of emotions, deciphered by psychologist Kim Sage on TikTok.
What is Eggshell Parenting?
The term, which means “eggshell parenting”, was itself invented by the psychologist. It refers to parents with changing moods, those who can go from caring to angry in a minute, or from loving to humiliating parent, without many warning signs. In fact, these are adults who are still emotionally immature and unstable and who have not learned to digest their own torments. Problem: this trend has repercussions on the entire family and on the development of children. Faced with potential educational violence from the parent, the child begins to constantly walk on eggshells (hence the name).
What are the consequences of Eggshell Parenting?
In this climate, it is difficult to provide the safe environment that the child needs. Because to grow well, he needs a stable parent, which Isabelle Filliozat, psychotherapist, confirms in the media Magic Mom :
“An essential skill to have as a parent is emotional regulation. The ability to know how to remain temperate in all circumstances instead of starting to scream and lose control. Learning to remain the parent in all situations is an essential skill that really makes the difference.“.
This is unfortunately not the only consequence. Because through this behavior, the shell parent blurs the bond that unites them to the child and can use it to relieve themselves, to confide in… Which is not their role. Therefore the psychologist affirms: children who grew up with Eggshell Parents develop great anxiety, too much involvement in the moods of their parents, because they feel responsible for their moods.
Finally, children who have suffered from this toxic parenting tend to demean themselves by not seeing their own value.
The psychologist rightly points out: breaking down and getting unjustifiably angry one evening at your child when they are very tired, for example, does not make you an EggShell Parent. It happens, and it’s better to apologize, manage the moment, but play it down.
The parent EggShell on the other hand “works” via this mood change, which is repetitive and unpredictable from day to day. In this case, Kim Sage announces, it is absolutely necessary to learn to regulate one’s emotions, to be self-aware, because children who have undergone Eggshell Parenting very often become Eggshell parents in their turn. They did not have the opportunity to resolve their own trauma.
If you recognize yourself in this moody attitude, it is better to resolve this and break the pattern by consulting a professional, before burdening your children with this inheritance.
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