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Updated
Reading 2 min.
in collaboration with
Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical psychologist)
Is your relationship struggling? Know that a small habit can fundamentally improve your relationship. Explanations.
Between work, children, ambient stress and daily demands: it’s difficult to find quality time for your relationship. The discussions quickly lead to practical matters and gradually move away from seduction. In these dark times, it can be beneficial to draw out a specific tip… and that only takes 10 minutes a day.
Active listening
According to Myriam Bidaud, couples therapist and founder ofAsset Couple, communication is essential to maintaining a fulfilling relationship. His tip? Allow yourself 10 minutes alone.
“10 minutes of discussion per week can literally transform your relationship”she says in a video published on her YouTube channel.
Before continuing “It is important to use this discussion space to share with others what is present. It can be an emotion, a feeling, an experience…” Conversely, the person who is listening must do so actively: “he/she must have the best listening skills and must suspend judgment.
To optimize this time, these 10 minutes must be divided into two: five minutes for the first partner, then five minutes for the other.
Ultimately, this tip allows you to better understand the needs, expectations and feelings of others, which leads to a more harmonious and fulfilled relationship.
Our expert’s opinion on this tip
Faced with these 10 minutes of imposed discussion, our psychologist Amélie Boukhobza is doubtful.
“Of course, devoting even 10 minutes a day to an open and sincere discussion can have a beneficial impact on the relationship. 5 minutes to express your emotions and feelings, while the other listens actively, without interrupting or judging, each in turn will have repercussions! A better connection, a better understanding, therefore better communication and a better relationship… And in fact perhaps by saying things to each other more, couples will be able to prevent certain Conflicts and cultivate a deeper and more authentic intimacy…”, she says in the preamble.
However, this tip remains restrictive.
“Having to impose this practice on yourself as a daily constraint can also be a bad omen, right? A couple should be able to talk to each other naturally and exchange without feeling obliged to follow a ritual of this type. When the communication becomes an imposed task, isn’t this a sign of underlying tensions in the relationship? Yes, we have to talk to each other to defuse topics that are not worth it, and no, we must not remain in silences which end up creating unsaid things, but in my opinion the couple must also remain a space of spontaneity and authenticity…”, she concludes.
Slide: 8 questions to ask your partner (and yourself) for a lasting relationship