10 phrases that falsely nice people use (and betray them)

Recognizing a person who is truly kind is not always easy. Indeed, some people are nice on the surface but actually pretend to like you. But there is one thing that gives them away: their language. Here are ten phrases that “fake friends” use, which will help you unmask them.

“I’m just being honest…”

Honesty is an important quality, especially in a friend. But malicious people use this phrase while feigning kindness, the better to make a harsh or critical comment afterwards. There is a fine line between the two situations – that of an honest friend and a falsely nice person – and in the second case, frankness is often a mere pretext. Be careful when hearing these words from a loved one.

“Don’t be offended, but…”

We’ve all heard this phrase at one time or another, right? This often indicates that an offensive comment is about to be said, under the guise of false politeness. A kind of slap, with a velvet glove. By starting the sentence like this, the person then allows themselves to make unkind comments, passing them off as friendly and constructive advice. In reality, it is simply an illusion. To flee, therefore.

“I hate drama…”

Here is another paradoxical phrase often used by people who are not as nice as they claim to be. Worse: it’s usually the ones who say this who cause drama. This phrase is a classic manipulation, to position oneself as the victim in a conflict. A sort of preemptive strike, to divert attention.

“I’m not one to peddle, but…”

People who start their sentences like this will follow it up with a rumor or unverified information. By reiterating their aversion to gossip, they want to give the illusion that they are honest and share information almost reluctantly. In reality, these are the people who are most likely to gossip about others. Be careful of this type of individual in your entourage, therefore.

“I’m kidding !”

After a hurtful comment, the person in front of you punctuates their remarks by adding this sentence. This is another classic of individuals who are not as nice as they want to pretend. In fact, it’s a way to clear yourself, if what they said ultimately hurt you.

“Soothe your heart…”

This phrase is actually a veiled insult, although it appears to be some sort of expression of sympathy or affection. So think about the context in which these words were said. When someone says this to you – and in a dismissive way at that – it’s probably hiding a personality that isn’t friendly towards you.

“I was just trying to help…”

This phrase is often said after someone offers unsolicited advice, without being asked. This phrase can be a way for falsely nice people to portray themselves as well-meaning, shifting the focus onto the person who rejected “their help.”

“I don’t want to sound rude, but…”

Here’s a phrase that, ironically, usually precedes a rude comment. People who often use “I don’t want to sound rude, but….” are usually about to say something they know is rude or offensive.

This statement serves as a warning, of sorts, a way to soften the blow and make their comment more acceptable. Beware of these people, therefore.

“But that’s just my opinion…”

This is a phrase these fake friends use to make their potentially hurtful comments. By adding “But that’s just my opinion” at the end of a statement, they try to ensure that their remarks are not debated.

In reality, however, it is often a way of expressing criticism or judgment without having to take full responsibility for the impact of their words.

“Don’t take this personally…”

This phrase is perhaps the most telling sign of a person pretending to be nice. It is often used as a precursor to a personal attack. People who say “Don’t take this personally…” are usually about to say something that is, indeed, personal. In reality, it’s just a way of avoiding responsibility for their words and actions.

Slide: The 10 signs of a toxic friendship