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Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical psychologist)
For several weeks, separation rumors have been growing around the couple formed by Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. Engaged for the first time then separated in 2004, the couple met again in 2021 and seemed to have the perfect love. However, in recent weeks, rumors of separation have become more and more insistent. What if ultimately getting back together with your ex was doomed to failure? To find out, Doctissimo interviewed psychologist Amélie Boukhobza.
They formed one of the star couples of the early 2000s. While both working on the set of the film Gigli, in 2002, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck fell in love. Very quickly, their every move was spied on, to the point that they broke off their engagement in 2004.
Former lovers getting back together, twenty years later
In 2021, however, the two celebrities are single at the same time and end up doing it again. Married this time, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck seemed to be in perfect love until recent weeks, when rumors of the couple’s separation are circulating more and more.
Is it a good idea to get back together with a former partner? “It’s true that it often makes you dream” recognizes psychologist Amélie Boukhobza. “Imagine that we could reconnect with our first love or one great love of youth, it’s super romantic! But the reality of such reunions is a little more complex than that, in reality.” she nuances.
A watered down, even idealized image of the relationship
They say that time erases memories, but in a relationship, it could especially enhance it. “Youthful memories are idealized, and returning to a former partner can offer a certain sense of security and familiarity. Memory tends to erase past difficulties to create a watered-down image of the relationship.” explains the psychologist. “However, if it had ended at the time, it was not without reason” she rightly recalls.
An evolution which may be different, over time
In the case of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, the pressure put by the paparazzi on the couple was the reason for their breakup. In the case of an average couple, other reasons can explain a separation.
But above all, once separated, both members of the couple evolve. “Life experiences, challenges, successes shape personalities. We grow up. Maybe the relationship that didn’t work yesterday can work better today, be more compatible, more in line with yourself and your expectations. Why not ? But it is perhaps also the opportunity to discover that we are no longer compatible, that water has flowed under the bridges. Aspirations, values, priorities may have evolved in the meantime. underlines our expert again.
It all depends on each person’s personality.
Getting back together with an ex is therefore not to be ruled out, but it all depends on each couple’s past relationship.. “Returning to a past relationship can also result in repeating the same mistakes. Unresolved dynamics and issues from the first relationship can resurface. It is crucial to have worked on these issues and to be sure that you have truly moved beyond certain things before re-engaging” rcommands Amélie Boukhobza.
Before concluding : “There is no single answer to the question of whether reconnecting with a youthful love can work. It all depends on the individuals, their ability to evolve and overcome the past. But the gamble is not without risk “.
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