Busy parents all make the same mistake when they want to go faster, often to the detriment of their children’s development.
Educating a child requires a lot of love, empathy, but also organization and patience. As parents, we tend to be constantly chasing time. Mornings are timed, between breakfast, time to wash, get dressed, take the children to school… In the evening, it’s the same thing, after coming home from work, parents have a thousand things to do before bedtime. And when you’re late, you simply don’t have time to let the little ones do it. Sometimes we think we are doing better, saving a few seconds on our schedule, but in reality, we are preventing them from testing for themselves certain small everyday actions that make them independent and help them grow well.
So, even if we don’t have time, it is essential to give them this precious time to learn, even if it means they do it wrong, or make mistakes. Do you have to leave the house to go to school? Let your child tie his shoelaces if he wants to instead of doing it for him to go faster. In the meantime, we can always move forward with something else, by putting on our coat or opening the doors of the house or turning off the lights. If necessary, you can help him, but doing it for him without giving him a choice risks impacting his self-esteem and his desire to do things for himself. A study from the Jorge Basadre Grohmann National University in Peru looked at the link between parental overprotection and language development in children aged 5 years. Several causes were thus designated, including the lack of autonomy among children.
And the examples are numerous: as they grow up, children want to do everything on their own. Let him eat with a small spoon or suitable fork, even if he gets dirty or throws everything on the floor. Yes, that’s part of the learning. Because if we do everything for them, how can they learn to do it? Encouraging them to become autonomous will also allow them, in the future, to make decisions more easily and be mature in the face of different situations and obstacles in life.
In conclusion, rather than doing it for him to save time or avoid getting dirty, our role as parents is to accompany the action and help him. For example: little by little teach him to dress himself and choose his outfit (even if the colors don’t go together), offer him tips for putting on his jacket more easily, let him express himself and find words without finishing his sentences. If he is at school, you should also help him with his homework without solving all his math problems or doing his French exercises. Your child needs to feel that he is capable of doing like the adults, and that you are proud of his progress.