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Patient and cooperative at school, your child becomes nervous and capricious once home? This is completely normal and is even good news, announced by a psychologist specializing in parenting.
Does your child appear adorable and serious at school but become a real tornado capable of throwing tantrums over nothing at home? But why is it changing so much, and why are you entitled to the “explosive” version at home? On Instagram, Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist specializing in parenting, explains this transition and reassures parents: it is completely normal.
Normal behavior of a child who is learning
Faced with repeated crises for bathing, homework, meals, the specialist repeats to parents who are sometimes distraught, it is only the result of a busy day.
“If your child is an angel at school and behaves disastrously at home, I can tell you why and it’s actually good news. Your child works so hard all day to be able to learn new things , to recover from failure, to build relationships with their peers… It takes a ton of energy”, she analyzed on her Instagram account.
Moreover, if it comforts (or reassures) you, your children give you “this special treatment” because they trust you. “Your child comes home to their secure parental figures and they are exhausted. They need to let go.”
That being said, if everything is normal about this change, that doesn’t mean that you have to be your child’s punching bag, she explains.
Supporting children’s crises
The fact remains that this sudden change in attitude can sometimes exhaust parents themselves at the end of the day. But the expert assures her, the best posture to have is to remain in control of your own emotions and to support those of the child by approaching things calmly as much as possible. One element can help you keep calm: knowing that you represent the reassuring environment that your child needs to unload but also be able to find rest at the end of the day.
“When you realize that this pattern is a sign of all the hard work your child has done at school, you can understand that it is not a sign that you have done something wrong. It will be easier for you to you to stay put and show him that you are there for him.”
To repeat for the next crisis at snack time!
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