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Reading 1 min.
in collaboration with
Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical psychologist)
Do you tend to make decisions for two people and manage finances alone? Be careful not to fall into the trap of parentification. Explanations.
Parentification in couples, what is it?
Do you know about parentification in couples? This is a frequent phenomenon, in which one of the partners naturally takes on the role of parent: he manages the administration, shopping, cleaning, planning, social life… and sometimes even the children. .
The imbalance of responsibilities is then significant and this vicious circle leads to frustration on one side and a form of infantilization on the other.
Result ? The couple is shattered.
“Often, this dynamic leads to decreased marital satisfaction and intimacy, frustration, anger, and resentment in both partners.“, explains psychotherapist Bobbi Banks in an Instagram post.
Fortunately, it is possible to remedy this insidious phenomenon.
“When we find ourselves in this situation, it is essential to do some inner work rather than getting stuck in the cycle of blame and pointing fingers“, asserts the specialist.
Signs to spot
To avoid falling into the vicious circle of parentification, Amélie Boukhobza lists the signs that should alert you:
- You make all the decisions;
- You manage finances alone, control expenses and request justification for purchases;
- You constantly correct your partner, you criticize them for their way of speaking, eating or their behavior in general;
- You manage all the tasks because you believe that your spouse is not capable of it;
- You lack sexual intimacy, you are more of a protector than a lover;
- You constantly infantilize your partner.
“In short, you are the one who sets the limits! But nothing ever happens completely alone…. I often say that a relationship is 50/50, this perhaps also means that your partner behaves like a child…“, recalls the expert.