“I can accept it and my heart is still open”, this challenge which goes viral on TikTok

You’ve probably heard the phrase “I can accept it and my heart is still open” many times while scrolling through TikTok. But what exactly does this mean? This is a challenge where you accept various remarks about yourself and where you conclude each of them with this famous phrase as a sign of acceptance. Usually carried out as a couple, this challenge allows you to alternate between the reproaches addressed to your partner and those that you yourself address to your other half.

This challenge can quickly escalate, and subsequently cause some conflicts. When you type this phrase into the search bar, you come across hundreds of videos accumulating millions of views. Few people manage to play the game, as this video from maeetjstotaling 1.3 million views.

For the record, we owe this phrase to the American sitcom “My Family First”, which narrates the daily life of the Kyle family. In one of the episodes, “Communication Problem”, the protagonists Michael and Janet decide to go to a seminar supposed to strengthen their relationship. They find themselves forced to exchange unfriendly truths as part of a therapeutic exercise. The ping-pong of reproaches eventually leads to an argument. There sequence, republished on TikTok has gone viral since the beginning of the year, giving rise to covers of the concept between friends, colleagues, and lovers. But is it really a healthy way to settle scores between loved ones?

For Line Mourey, clinical psychologist, requested by the HuffPost, blaming people publicly on social media can be unhealthy. Even if the idea is good in principle. “Establishing communication in your couple or interpersonal relationships is very relevant“, she admits. “The fact that it is filmed can quickly turn the exercise into public humiliation. We have a ping-pong effect of reproaches which can quickly settle scores“. The psychologist also points out the forced side of “I can accept it and my heart is always open”, the only valid response to criticism. As Line Mourey points out, “we push the other to say that they agree, which cancels the negotiation, the search for compromise. There is no possible solution“.

So how do you tell your four truths to a loved one? Make a list of the criticisms that you consider the most important and try to say them constructively to your interlocutor. Be sure to choose the right moment (without a camera of course) and above all prepare the other person to have this discussion in advance.