Daughter Nikita Sandkvist took her own life at 22

Nikita Sandkvist was only 22 years old. A large part of her too short life was a struggle against ill health. It had been up and down, but in February 2022 she had a good job and was planning for the future. The weekend before Valentine’s Day, she and mother Linda Bill Sandkvist had been to the spa and hung out.

Two policemen came

They used to celebrate Valentine’s Day together, mother and daughter, but since they just hung out for a whole weekend, Linda Bill Sandkvist just sent her daughter a text with a heart. She didn’t get an answer, but knowing that her daughter was busy at work, she didn’t want to disturb. But in the evening she got a strange feeling.

– I’m not religious, but I prayed to God.

When they called from Nikita’s job the next day and said she hadn’t arrived, she knew.

– I called the police and was on my way there when I received a text that I should return home.

Outside her door stood two police officers.

– Then I just turned around. Then I just wanted to stop time and run away.

“A Ponder”

She describes her daughter Nikita Sandkvist as a happy person, but also as a brooder.

– She was in pre-puberty when it started. She pondered a lot about evil and life. She was also gay. She knew it very early on, but had a hard time talking about it. I didn’t understand it, for me it was something completely natural. I don’t care who you fall in love with, as long as that person is kind. But for Nikita it was big. She felt different about it, I think, says Linda Bill Sandkvist in Nyhetsmorgon.

In her teens, Nikita suffered from severe anorexia and was dying. Linda did everything to get her daughter help, but it took time. Linda stayed home and looked after Nikita.

The problems came back

Nikita eventually recovered from the eating disorder, but was unwell on and off during her teenage years. Two years ago, the problems with eating disorders, anxiety and self-harm began to return.

– She wrote to me that I shouldn’t be worried. Now, as an adult, she wanted to get a handle on everything, go to therapy and get the right side of things. She realized that some things remain and she sought help for it. Then she didn’t go back. No one belonged to her.

And on February 15, 2022, tragedy was a fact when Nikita was found dead. Mother Linda is left with the grief.

– I remember running around at night screaming and looking for her. I wished my heart would stop beating on its own.

You don’t want to live anymore?

– Yes. I just wanted to stop hurting.

“Dare to talk about death”

That so many young people feel unwell today is a major social problem. We must dare to talk to young people about death, says Ullakarin Nyberg, suicide researcher and senior psychiatrist.

– Young people do not have the perspective required to understand that “if I do this, I will die. And if I’m dead, I’m gone forever”. Death means that you can never change anything.

How do you talk to young people about it?

– It is excellent to talk to young people, they have thought about things like this. It’s not that scary at all when you do it. Questions of a more existential nature can be talked about. No one becomes more suicidal for doing that. But as a parent it can be very difficult, says Ullakarin Nyberg.