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Marie Lanen
Head of parenting sections (baby, pregnancy, family), psychology and beauty
Parenthood has never been so central to concerns. Books, articles, debates, social networks… If we can understand everything and its opposite; Shouldn’t we go back to basics and ask ourselves THE question that allows us to respond to our children in all situations? Doctissimo enlightens you.
If we all remember the debate for or against positive parenting; The first losers in this media chaos are above all the parents who feel lost and no longer know how to approach parenthood in a calm manner. A psychologist interviewed in the columns of the media CNBC recalls that contrary to what we read everywhere, benevolence and authority are not enemies. “The hype around parenting styles has distracted us from the more relevant question: ‘What does my child need right now?‘”, says the expert.
Meeting the child’s needs is the key to growing harmoniously
We have all experienced this situation: after a complicated day at work, the youngest cries for a yes or a no and then we explode, we scream, the little one is punished in his room… The psychologist reveals that if this This kind of situation can put many parents to the test, it can also be an opportunity to ask ourselves:What does my child need right now?” And if we think about it carefully, the child generally needs kindness (his condition and needs are heard), but also firmness (reminder of the rules of life at home). Contrary to popular belief, softness and firmness can be used together to effectively meet the needs of young people. SO “yes, I understand your sadness/anger/frustration, but NO, you are not allowed to hit/throw the toys…“.”We don’t need to be harsh or cruel, but we can respect these non-negotiable boundaries“, adds the psychologist.
No “miracle recipe” for being “good parents”
The psychologist also recalls that being a good parent is not an easy task. Moreover, the very definition of “good parent” can be very different from one person/society to another. What if parents trusted each other more and dared to create their own recipe for parenthood? A good way to better understand the needs of children AND adults. Because a parent must also listen to their own needs in order to better meet those of their children. Let’s not forget that the youngest reproduce our gestures/reactions and absorb them. So, let’s forget Aunt Fernande’s advice on punishments and listen to our children, their needs and ours!
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