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In the social media landscape, love challenges have become commonplace, providing moments of entertainment to millions of viewers. However, according to experts, it would be better to avoid these tests if you want to preserve harmony within your relationship!
Lately, tests intended to test one’s partner have been invading TikTok feeds. The latest one? The ketchup test. The principle is as follows: you intentionally spill ketchup on the work surface to see how your partner cleans the stain. This would determine the personality of your partner. Before, it was the bird test, which consists of observing the reaction of your other half by mentioning a trivial detail, for example by showing them a bird in the sky. The goal ? Assess their level of attention and, by extension, the couple’s emotional connection.
For their followers, these tests are intended to be “effective ways” to gauge the love of their partners. So much so that some of these challenges sometimes end in a settling of scores. We see this for example with this internet user, whose video has had 27 million views. She asks her partner to peel an orange for her in order to measure her love, but he refuses and ends up giving her a humiliating lecture.
Unhealthy tests
However, according to Élodie Cavalier, expert in romantic relationships, contacted by ETX Majelan News, these tests are absurd. “In tests, like the ketchup test, we draw relational conclusions about how to clean. However, you cannot rely on a ketchup stain to determine the personality of your partner“, she underlines. This vision is shared by Hélène Frébault, an expert in romantic relationships also contacted by ETX Majelan, who deplores the excessive simplification of complex psychological notions.
According to the latter, these tests involve almost all of the 5 love languages defined by the American author Gary Chapman (author of the eponymous bestseller): rewarding words, service rendered, physical touch, gifts, and quality time. “For the peeled orange and ketchup test, it is about the service provided, for that of the bird, quality moments. But with these tests, we lose the substance of the message“, deciphers Hélène Frébault. Why? Quite simply because the partners are caught off guard and feel judged based on actions in a given moment, canceling out their daily contribution within the couple. There would also be an unhealthy dimension through these tests.
“The mindset of the process is quite dangerous. In a way, we test to trap our partner. We have a staging of the couple which is based on an expected reaction“, explains Élodie Cavalier. By not meeting the needs of the other partner, a climate of insecurity is subsequently established within the couple. This obsessive quest for reassurance, embodied by the tests, can even produce “the opposite effect and lead to a deterioration of the relationship. Conflict, loss of confidence in others… the list of consequences is long. Internet users who carry out these tests are generally unaware of the harmful nature of these tests.
The throwaway culture
By browsing the videos on social networks, we can see that it is often young couples, from generation Z (1997-2010), who practice these challenges. For Élodie Cavalier, these tests prove to be quite revealing of their conception of love: “Tests are a trend, and young people are rushing to create as much buzz as possible. They make love a source of entertainment“. Indeed, the tests accumulate millions of views each time on Internet users’ profiles, allowing them to gain followers in the process. “Love is treated like a product that is sold and thrown away, while relationship is barely built”, analyzes the expert in romantic relationships.
In recent years, social networks and dating applications have indeed contributed to this disposable culture by offering infinite choices, as we have observed with the phenomenon of the “starter girlfriend” (girlfriends serving as training for future relationships). According to Hélène Frébault, this tendency to test relationships often stems from fear of commitment and vulnerability. “Individuals seek to control and predict the future of their relationship, but forget that love is above all a daily construction, based on communication and mutual understanding.“, she emphasizes.
Élodie Cavalier agrees with this and insists on the fact that the couple is a “co-creation”, where the partners build their future together. “The best way to know if the relationship is reliable is to ask yourself this question: ‘How do I feel in this one?’“, she advises. We can also set up rituals to break the ice and strengthen bonds. Why not, for example, take five minutes together every morning over coffee? “To fully experience your relationship, it is better to feel it than to test it“, concludes Hélène Frébault.
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