A hockey player from Kouvola Miska Siikonen is in the toughest place of his career. KooKoo will start the playoffs soon, but the attacker has been on the sidelines since October.
In the autumn, Siikonen’s gaze was determined this season. Although the signs of exhaustion were in the air and the man was clearly overspeeding, the body-tuned body and motivated attitude with hard training did not give way to the idea that something was wrong.
– Although I haven’t recognized it yet, at that point I was on the edge of a cliff, Siikonen recalls the autumn.
He experienced very severe symptoms caused by stress. Difficulty sleeping had bothered at night and the first heart symptoms began in the middle of the night. Her heart seemed to tear out of her chest and she had to call the ambulance. The heart was examined in a hospital and no acute was found.
After the sixth match of the season played in Vaasa on September 24, the nervous system did not calm down at night, and Siikonen did not get any sleep. However, he believed he would be able to play the next day in Oulu. During the warming, the heart symptomed again, and again the man was rushed to the hospital. When the blood tests and the heart film looked good, he was able to return to Kouvola with the team.
– In retrospect, I had already experienced mild panic attacks at this point.
The cardiologist examined the heart in more detail in Kouvola with an ultrasound, ie a two-day Holter ECG, and a stress test. No clear cause for the symptoms was found, so Siikonen was allowed to return to work. However, uncertainty added to the anxiety.
– Although the cardiologist said that there could be something psychic in the background, but I myself could not accept the idea, because the physical feelings were so violent.
The following game repeated the feeling that the man was not getting oxygen and fear of death was present.
– The only idea on the ice was to survive the exchange. At that moment, I was just sure I would die on the ice. After all, playing in that state didn’t become anything, Siikonen describes.
Loady steps
In retrospect, it can be estimated that the effects of the corona pandemic on the hockey field and the heavy season 2020–21 in Jyväskylä increased Siikonen’s mental load. He was a member of the captaincy at JYP and acted as a sort of bridge between the team and the employer in negotiations for pay cuts.
– The season was really confusing and heavy. The further the season progressed, the more difficult the situation became for the team.
JYP’s game didn’t go well and the head coach changed several times.
– The atmosphere had tightened and the coaches came and went. Everyday life started to be really hard, and everyone was sure to symptom in their own way. I certainly wasn’t the best teammate when my own competitive spirit and level of demand broke through. Dreams suffered from a state of constant stress and resilience began to be at an extreme limit on a daily basis, already contributing to recovery. I don’t remember terribly the whole time it was so foggy.
Siikonen and JYP terminated the agreement. The junior world champion moved into the ranks of the Swedish HV71 in the middle of the season, which gave the man new impetus. He scored a goal in his second shift and his new career seemed to get his wings under him.
The battle for the playoffs waned as the club, accustomed to success, lost its last 11 regular season matches. Eventually, the HV71 bent in the qualifiers and the 36-year uninterrupted race in the Swedish main series ended.
Siikonen, who took the situation very self-critically, felt a great failure and even shame. The rest of the season had gone completely the opposite of what he had thought, and the stress was straining the attacker’s nervous system.
– I woke up at night and I was pretty sure someone would come in through the door. I had no way to get out of that pressure and stressful state.
Siikonen returned to Finland after a difficult season and started an independent training. There was an agreement with KooKoo in his pocket. The return to the homelands felt good.
Calls to the emergency number
Siikonen’s expectations for the current season were high. On the other hand, the understanding of the connection between body and mind had grown. The man in some of the exercises realized he was at the point that there was a total wall in front of him. He had to get out. Emotions no longer remained inside.
Siikonen’s mental and physical condition completely collapsed. Of the mental symptoms, panic attacks, increased anxiety, and depression took over, and the symptoms caused him to feel that he could no longer cope. He had to stop completely.
For several weeks, the man lived inside four walls, and his symptoms didn’t even get out of bed, or at least beyond the couch, no matter how he tried and got encouragement from his spouse. Concerns about their own health increased when the nervous system was completely confused and the heart beat abnormally.
The heart beat with numerous extra beats, throbbing attacks became more common, and the fear of death took hold of everyday life. The emergency number was found in the list of frequently called calls. The man was dizzy and dizzy.
– Colors disappeared from life. I always thought in the evenings that I wouldn’t wake up anymore. These feelings only intensified day by day.
Siikonen underwent numerous examinations from head images to abdominal scans. Symptoms were exacerbated by uncertainty. He also contacted a psychologist with whom he had worked in connection with an injury a few years earlier. Through the club, he also got to a psychiatrist. It was clear that rest alone would not be enough.
Social situations and doing everyday things were difficult for him. Siikosen should have been playing hockey, but he didn’t even have to go to the convenience store.
Initially, the situation had been difficult to explain to coaching and teammates, as the diagnosis of severe mental and physical overexertion was only confirmed after numerous research sessions, doctor visits, and examinations by specialists in various fields.
– Then the idea was that I would be able to smile a little more one day. Exactly the same, even if I never play hockey again, as long as I get the package, so to speak.
Gradually, the information and understanding gained from the research and the use of new means began to turn the course in the right direction.
In the work of a professional hockey player, there is pressure from many directions, in which the expression of one’s own feelings out loud may appear to be a weakness and, at worst, may affect one’s own employment in the field. Exhaustion is taboo in disc circuits.
– I thought I could handle all things inside my head and I didn’t have to talk to anyone outside. Like a Finnish man, his mouth is sober and more busy, so that’s what it turns out to be. And when there is a place to reset, then reset hard.
He later began to open up his experiences and received peer support surprisingly close. It turned out that a few of the old playmates had suffered from similar problems.
Siikonen now hopes to be able to help others in the future.
– Everyone always has a fight going on, but they are not talked about terribly in hockey circles. I believe it would be possible to prevent many burnouts or overwork conditions in athletes.
He describes the setup as contradictory, because in top sports, an athlete living in a kind of bubble tears off everything that is only available. The influence of the environment and coaches is great.
According to Siikonen, there is a lot to learn in team sports about individual sports, where there is a lot of talk about mental coaching. Sure, many league clubs have a psychologist or mental coach at their disposal, but many only turn to a helper when problems arise and not proactively.
– I think the team psychologist should be part of the coaching team and “coach” the coach as well. If a psychologist and a coach pull in different directions, it’s a bit like an empty lottery. Hockey is a great sport, but needs a certain kind of cultural change. It will certainly happen with the younger generation.
Many thanks to the support forces
When Siikonen’s situation was at its worst, he also had to deal with his inability to continue in the profession of hockey player.
Now, however, the recovery has progressed the least. He praises his background group, which includes physics coaches, for example Tommi Pärmäkoski and Antti KousaPhysiotherapists Juha Nakari and Sanna Feberg-Lindh as well as a bodyguard Sami Aalto. Siikonen also thanks the experts in various fields and, above all, the coaching and teammates for their help and support.
The KooKoo player has already been able to start training again. He started with walks, but at the moment the man is already training lightly in the weight room and jogging, however, strictly following the training program and on the terms of recovery.
Siikosen’s nervous system gives immediate feedback if training is too hard.
The instructions of the professionals and moving forward in moderation will take you in the right direction. Siikonen ‘s speech reveals that
– Faith and thought are clear that things will continue and come from here. Hopefully the best games are yet to come.
Siikonen knows that after adversity, he is stronger both inside and outside the trough.
He describes being on the ground where he was buried alive and no light or way out was seen. Emotional reactions continue to surface.
– It is really difficult to describe and understand the whole space if you have not experienced it yourself. The first step is to accept that you need help. Only then are you ready to receive help.
Relaxation, breathing and mindfullness exercises would have sounded like a hoax to Siikonen’s ear before, but now they have been helpful as a variety of ways to relax. The mattress, which affects the autonomic nervous system, has also been helpful. Siikonen says he also left all external stimulants, such as caffeine, for a long time.
She has also started rehabilitative psychotherapy and believes it will be an important aid in recovery.
– I clerically believe that if I can, anyone can get out of the pit. Sometimes it needs a little help. Yes, life always wins, though.
The final round of the Finnish Ice Hockey League will be followed by Puhe’s Ice Hockey Round on Tuesday 22 March. from 6 p.m.