The way you shake someone’s hand can say more than you think. Certain handshakes should be avoided!
How do you say hello to someone by shaking their hand without a false note? Greetings are a very codified ritual that depends a lot on the cultural environment. In Europe, shaking hands is a common practice whose origins date back to the time of Greek Antiquity: representations of this gesture are present on steles from the 5th century BC. One theory is that the handshake was practiced to prove to a future collaborator that one came without weapons and to check that no one was hiding a dagger in their sleeve. The unconscious also plays an important role in the way we greet. The very famous handshake can therefore be more revealing than we think.
The Covid has significantly changed our approach to greetings, the kiss, very French, is becoming increasingly rare in contexts outside the family. The handshake quickly returned to our social habits. Difficult to get rid of it when we know that it has been used in a diplomatic and business context since the 19th century. But be careful: this seemingly banal gesture can say a lot about your personality. The anthropologist Emmanuelle Désveaux recently explained on France culture that by shaking hands, we put ourselves in a position of equals.
Various studies explain the symbolism of handshakes. According to Frank van Marwijk, sociotherapist and director of Bodycom, a consultant on body language and non-verbal communication, the position of the hand is a telltale sign. When shaking the hand of the person opposite, placing your hand on top, palm down, reflects a desire to lead. A feeling of dominance can also arise if the person opposite directs the other hand downwards. This therefore creates a relationship of “dominance” and submission that it would be preferable to avoid.
The distance between the two people is also an interesting element in the symbolism of the handshake. According to Frank van Marwijk, shaking hands while keeping the arm outstretched indicates a desire to keep the interlocutor out of their personal space. According to the rules of body language, a voluntarily maintained gap would therefore be just as indicative of a desire for dominance. To forbid !
An important point in this subtle art of the handshake also lies in its intensity. A weak handshake is not recommended, especially during a first contact. Such a gesture, more or less unconscious, reflects a lack of commitment and interest, perhaps even a lack of self-confidence. Likewise, a handshake that is too tight says a lot: putting too much force into a handshake can reveal the desire to establish a balance of power, it can also demonstrate the presence of a complex.