Every year, tension rises during heated discussions at Christmas dinner. To avoid conflicts, this method seems to work: it allows you to dodge certain thorny subjects, and with a smile.
The end of year celebrations are an opportunity to bring the whole family together around the traditional Christmas meal. A warm moment, which, every year, can also be synonymous with conflicts. Because around the table, points of view inevitably diverge: we discuss current events, Uncle Paul’s political opinions irritate, not to mention the redundant and sometimes embarrassing questions asked in front of the whole family. “Did you find a job? An apartment ? Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? When are you going to have a baby?“So many questions that would plunge you into depression when this Christmas evening should be a time of rejoicing. So, in order not to avoid conflicts and passionate debates, opt instead for the pivoting method.
This technique consists of avoiding topics that make you uncomfortable by moving the discussion towards lighter, funny topics or ones that arouse curiosity. All while maintaining a positive atmosphere. For example, you can raise interest by evoking family memories, recalling anecdotes about your own parents or by offering fun activities or Christmas games.
The pivot method is particularly effective when combined with a healthy dose of active listening. By paying attention to the reactions and emotions of those present, you can better identify the appropriate time to change the subject. This requires a certain sensitivity and understanding of family dynamics. For example, if you notice your uncle starting to get heated over a political topic, it might be the perfect time to fire off a question about a family vacation memory or everyone’s plans for the new year.
So, when you feel tension building around the table, try changing the conversation subtly, casually. You can also intervene to “save the day” for your cousin who might feel uncomfortable during this family meal, which is as much appreciated as it is dreaded. Finally, why not anticipate by thinking about a few topic ideas in advance that will allow you to “pivot” more easily when the time comes. I promise, you will escape all types of situations and have a peaceful Christmas meal.