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Are you tired of calling your child (to put on his shoes, go out, eat, etc.) without him paying attention? Maybe you’re doing it the wrong way. On Tiktok, a speech therapist offers an alternative… to try!
“Jules, come put on your shoes! Come on! Your shoes, Juuules!”… Is the scene familiar to you? This is because it is quite classic: for many reasons, our children, when they are captivated by their game, or when they have something else to do, know very well to ignore our calls, even (especially) when we are in a hurry. Result: the tone rises, and everything seems to take forever. But breathe: Elena, an American speech therapist, reveals valuable advice on TikTok.
The method that doesn’t work (ours)
The young woman begins her video with everything you should not do, to attract her child’s attention, which generally has little effect on him. Suffice to say that it lists all our common errors:
- Constantly repeat the child’s first name in the request;
- Changing speech several times in the same request (“I go ?” ; “Here we go ?“);
- Issue multiple requests at once (“Come here, put on your coat, put on your shoes“)
- And finally threaten to leave without him (“Mom’s leaving too bad!”)
The method that relies more on your child’s attention
In return, Elena offers a method that she believes has proven itself, and which turns out to be much calmer.
- According to her, it is a matter of clearly calling the child by his first name while looking at him;
- Then to pause while observing it;
- When the child shows a sign of attention, a look, it is then a matter of congratulating him and finally giving him the desired instructions. “You coming to eat ?”
“Repeating his first name over and over again when he isn’t going to respond will not be effective on him“, explains the expert. Conversely, pausing after calling your name is more likely to get a response.
The environment also comes into account
The speech therapist specifies, however, that his tip is not magic, and must take into account the environment in which you are.
“If [l’enfant] is in an environment with distractions everywhere, which can be noisy, chaotic, where a lot is happening around him, he is much less likely to respond to his name than when he is in a more controlled, less noisy environment and smaller”she explains.
In other words, there is no need to imagine that your child will answer the first call in the middle of a park with his friends. On the other hand, in your living room… the method just needs to be tested!
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