That’s why you get offended – that’s how you can deal with it

Being offended can be both about how those around us behave but also about how sensitive we ourselves are.
But how do you know if it is yourself who is easily offended and if you should do something about it?
– If you notice that it often happens that I get sad, hurt, walk around and knead, then it could be that I am perhaps a bit sensitive, says psychologist Anna Bennich.

Offense is something that is both very personal and situational. It can be illegal to offend someone and there are certain things you are not allowed to say to another person. On the other hand, probably everyone can identify with being offended by criticism at work or by a friend.

– If you have to think about what a violation is in its purest form, it is an attack on my person or my freedom. It is something that is directed at us as people and that conflicts with our values ​​or perceptions of acceptable behavior. And it is quite different what we are offended by. It depends on the situation, how tired we are, how sad we are, how bad we feel from the start, says psychologist Anna Bennich.

Putin and Trump as examples

She believes that if it happens from time to time, you don’t need to put so much effort into doing something about it. But if you are very easily offended, you may have to think about why.

– If you notice that it often happens that I get sad, hurt, walk around and knead, then it could be that I might be a bit sensitive. Some have to deal more with injustices and if it is the case that you suffer from it, you can do things about it.

She says that you should ask yourself why you are offended and what it is that causes you to be offended by something that someone else might let go of more easily.

– If you learn a little about yourself, it becomes easier to get hold of: “yes, this is something that maybe I shouldn’t let get to me as much”.

– I think that many people would benefit from learning it. Putin, for example, gets very angry if someone says that his warfare is bad. You get 27 years in prison. Donald Trump fires as soon as someone disagrees with him. There are incredibly easily offended people that we have in public around us.

That way you will be less easily offended

Something else Anna Bennich advises is to sort out what kind of criticism you have received, whether it is, for example, about the professional role or the role as a love partner.

– Then you can more easily keep it from yourself that it would be about my whole person, that I am this bad or that others think I am bad.

If you also often become aggressive when you feel offended, you should work on stress management in those situations.

– Back away, cool down, direct attention to something else. And try not to act so impulsively, says Anna Bennich.