Avoidant personality disorder results from an intense fear of being judged, criticized, or rejected by others. And it is manifested by a series of clear signs if we know how to spot them.
Your friend avoids social interactions, refuse party invitations And prefers to be left alone for fear of being rejected ? It’s a avoidant behavior. In psychology, when this avoidance becomes pathological, we speak of avoidant personality disorder. This situation affects the way a person behaves and interacts with others in general. People with this disorder tend to feeling very uncomfortable and anxious in social situations. They often have a intense fear of being judged, criticized, or rejected by others. To avoid these unpleasant feelings, they will avoid social situations and interactions as much as possible. What are the typical signs? How to behave and communicate with an avoidant?
Definition: What is avoidant behavior?
“Human beings have a psychological defense system whose role is to protect against dysfunctional emotions and difficult to live with such as fear, guilt, jealousy or shame. Avoidance behaviors stem from this defense mechanism” recalls Noémie Le Menn, psychologist. They can be conscious or unconscious. If the avoidance is dysfunctional, we enter the avoidant personality disorder. Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by an intense and persistent fear of being criticized, rejected or humiliated by others. “If during a pandemic, I avoid going out of my house, the behavior is reasonable. If I avoid going to a party because I’m afraid the guests are smarter than me (subjective representation), this avoidance results from unease” illustrates the psychologist.
Some events can be traumatic and cause avoidant behaviors
What are the typical signs of an avoidant behavior?
Typical signs of avoidant personality include:
- Iexcessive fear of criticism or rejection,
- avoidance of social situations,
- the tendency to withdraw,
- there excessive shyness
- and low self-esteem.
“People with this disorder may also be very sensitive to criticism. If, for example, someone says “I don’t like the wallpaper you put up in your room” it doesn’t mean that he said “you have bad taste!” Criticisms are not personal attacks : it turns out that people with this disorder tend to translate the words or behavior of others into personal attacks” emphasizes our expert. For example, in a work group situation where everyone has to speak, the avoidant may feel extremely nervous about speaking in public for fear of saying something stupid or being judged. To avoid this distressing situation, he will tend to remain silent and make yourself as small as possible.
What are the causes of avoidant behavior?
The causes are multifactorial:
► We observe a genetic cause, linked to anxious temperament. Anxious temperaments are more likely to suffer from avoidant personality disorder. “Until today, existing studies have shown a familial aggregation of most anxiety disorders and several studies support a genetic etiology.“ notes Noémie Le Menn. Anxiety is also transmitted socially: anxious parents will behave anxiously and children will internalize and reproduce it.
► The environment is also involved in the mechanism of avoidant behavior. “Some events can be traumatic and cause effects of post traumatic stress which will manifest as avoidant behaviors” indicates our interlocutor. For example, a aggression in the street may involve a fear of leaving home. “Certain events will not necessarily be traumas in absolute terms, but they will have marked an anxious personality in childhood..” For example, a humiliation in class at school can cause terror of speaking in public once an adult.
What is the difference between avoidant behavior and social phobia?
There social phobia is the severe complication avoidant personality disorder.
What are the consequences of avoidant behavior?
Avoidant behavior limits opportunities to form satisfying personal or professional relationships and realize one’s full potential. In the professional lifeavoidant personality disorder can curb career of the person. For example, she may decline a promotion involving public exposure. In personal life, the avoidant has difficulty forming intimate relationships. he can to refuse the idea of sharing one’s life with somebody for fear of having to go out, participate in social activities and share intimacy.
“The person must be in demand and want to work about his trouble. She must realize that it is possible for her to get out and evolve, continues the psychologist. THE behavioral and cognitive therapies have demonstrated their effectiveness in this avoidant behavior”. Our expert starts with look for the brake, the cause, avoidant behavior that prevents the person from flourishing. “Once we have put our finger on the source, we work on their mental representations of the world and events that they avoid because they dramatize them. Accompaniment by a professional is essential because only one reasons with his own beliefs and reflexes that we feed” defends Noémie Le Menn. Then we move on to exposure therapies. “I then offer them practical exercises to make them gently step out of their comfort zone and show them what they are capable of. They must be accompanied in the exposure he fears so as to make them realize little by little that it is not as terrible as in their imagination. In concrete terms, we support them in an exhibition in progressive society, 10 minutes, then 15 minutes etc They can also be encouraged to speak in public at professional meetings, for example.“explains our expert.
Talking to these avoidant people about the experiences of individuals who have changed reminds them that no one is determined once and for all. Showing them that it is possible is a good way to encourage them without rushing them. Furthermore, care must be taken to not reinforce shame or guilt of the person and do not insist when she refuses an invitation in society, for example.
Thanks to Noémie Le Menn, psychologist.