Pregnant women can have a tenfold desire during pregnancy, but many are those who have no libido at all. The point with Mathilde Bouychou, clinical psychologist specialized in perinatality.
During pregnancy, some women may still feel the urge to make love, while others may a decrease or total absence of libido until childbirth. In general, this loss of libido is linked to the psychological and physiological upheavals caused by pregnancy. But in some women, the cause may be quite different. How to revive libido in pregnant women? Mathilde Bouychou, clinical psychologist specializing in perinatality, enlightens us and shares her advice.
Why do some women have no libido at all during pregnancy?
Pregnancy is synonymous with profound psychological and physiological upheavals that can impact the libido. This varies from one woman to another and evolves throughout pregnancy. “There are also women who have lubrication disorders during pregnancy and pain related to hormonal changeswhich will have an impact on the libido. If we know that we are going to have pain and that it will be painful, the woman will want less”explains Mathilde Bouychou, clinical psychologist.
- In the first trimester of pregnancy : fatigue and nausea dominate, which prevents the woman from feeling desire for her companion.
- In the second trimester of pregnancy : we often observe a revival of libido in pregnant women, in particular because they feel better physically and morally.
- In the third trimester of pregnancy : a decrease in libido can be observed, due to the belly of the pregnant woman which is “bulky”.
“Lubrication disorders and pain related to hormonal changes can also impact pregnant libido.”
Beyond penetrative sex, there are other ways to nourish your sexuality during pregnancy and revive your libido. For this, the couple can (re)introduce tenderness (touching, hugging, caressing, touching, kissing, etc.). “It is essential to keep these little attentions, because in the postpartum, the child is there, the fatigue is more important so there can be more physical distance and when this physical distance sets in, it is more difficult afterwards, it distances both partners“, warns the expert.
You can go to therapists who do therapeutic massage where the spouse will be taught to massage the pregnant woman’s body, which will help them reconnect.
Communication is also crucial to awaken the libido in a couple during pregnancy. Often the partner interprets his wife’s low libido as a form of rejection. It is therefore important to be able explain to him the reasons for this loss of libido. “The spouse can also have a supporting role, take a benevolent, positive look, show a lot of understanding. Hence the importance of talking about it, of being able to name things. Most of the time, sexuality during pregnancy is a highlighting of sexuality that was already taking place before. A couple who has a fulfilling sexuality in normal times, even if there is less sexual intercourse during pregnancy, will be able to talk about it, go through this period in a more serene way“, she adds.
“Most of the time, sexuality during pregnancy is a highlighting of sexuality that was already taking place before.”
Can low libido also affect men during pregnancy?
“There is also men who will feel less desire for their wife because she is pregnant, because there is this belly which is rounded. It is interesting to consider the fluctuations of libido from a systemic point of view and not only from the point of view of the woman. For some men, there are no longer two but three, which disturbs them. There are women who do not feel well pregnantwho do not feel desirable and who find it difficult to invest this changing body, which will have an impact on their desire“, underlines the psychologist.
Girl or boy… Is the decrease in libido linked to the sex of the baby?
To date, there are no conclusive studies that have shown a link with low libido and the sex of the baby., whether it is a girl or a boy. On the other hand, a belief explains that the libido would be a clue to know the sex of the unborn child. If the pregnant woman has a high libido, it would mean that she is expecting a girl, and on the contrary, if she has a low libido, it would be a boy.
Testimonials from women who had a low libido during pregnancy
On the Pregnancy – Baby forum from the Journal des Femmes, a 3 and a half month pregnant woman shared her testimony about the loss of libido during pregnancy. “I am 3 and a half months pregnant, after two years of trying. The problem is that I no longer want to make love or cuddle and he even manages to annoy me wanting to kiss me. I’m starting to tell myself that I’m not normal and he’s starting to be impatient, which I totally understand. A lot of girls around me tell me that on the contrary, they had a lot more want to make love during their pregnancy. My question is: will it work out or I risk being frigid for 9 months?”
What several mothers have in turn shared their experiences and their testimonies. “Don’t worry after giving birth, everything will be back to normal, I experienced the same thing, I know what I’m talking about”, says a user. Another woman explains: “I can partly understand your problem. Are you aware that you can have mood disorders during the first trimester of pregnancy ? It also happened to me to no longer support the members of my entourage, to the point of running away from them! This state can be reflected in you by a decrease in libido, it should improve very quickly.”
Thanks to Mathilde Bouychou, clinical psychologist specializing in perinatality.