We judged the candidates for Eurovision (not at all objectively) and here is the best of the worst

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We judged the candidates for Eurovision not at all objectively

For this 2023 edition of Eurovision, 26 candidates defend the colors of their country in the final in Liverpool, England.

They were 37 on the starting line of Eurovision 2023. 37 artists or groups to hope to qualify for the grand final of the European singing competition, which is being held this Saturday May 13, 2023 in Liverpool, England and which does not will see only 26 compete. During this last week before the big night, some delegations still had to qualify for the semi-finals, divided into two meetings, to reach the final show.

Ten candidates were selected in each semi-final, which is therefore in addition to the candidates of the “Big Five”, namely France, Italy, Spain, the United Kingdom and Germany, qualified as office for their generous financial contribution and to Ukraine, winner last year. That is a final with 26 countries.

To try to stand out and shine on the Eurovision scene and thus succeed the Ukrainians of Kalush, all means are good. From the greatest voice to the most kitsh performance, passing through the most colorful and dancing, we listened to and judged (in a totally subjective way and without taking into account the forecasts of the bookmakers), the 26 countries qualified for the grand final of Eurovision 2023, in their order of appearance.

Austria : Teya & Salena – Who The Hell Is Edgar

WE love !We like less…
  • It’s a big yes : the song, the style, the homage to Edgar Allan Poe and the denunciation of sexism in music. It works and it stays in mind: winning combo.
  • The scenography is a little too simplistic.

Editor’s note: ◉◉◉◉O

Portugal : Mimicat – Ai Coracao

  • An interesting songmodernizing traditional Portuguese music.
  • Neither the live performance nor the interpretation of Mimicat do not finally make it possible to distinguish themselves.
  • For what that red feather dress?!

Editor’s note: ◉◉◉OO

Swiss : Remo Forrer- watergun

  • He sings wellwe can’t take it away.
  • There is idea, but already heard so many times… And not everyone can make Cher like Cher. That’s all.

Editor’s note: ◉◉◉OO

Poland : Blanka- Solo

  • Little effort of choreography… And even.
  • bland song and a live performance that deserves no more than the edge of a swimming pool, in the summer.

Editor’s note: ◉OOOO

Serbia :Luke Black- Samo Mi Se Spava

  • Very nice scenography. Too bad you have to close your ears to contemplate it.
  • Here is the false note quota of this Eurovision 2023: Luke Black! And it’s happy otherwise it would be much less funny.
  • It’s all pretty unlistenable.Nevertheless Samo Mi Se Spava could have been one of the best songs of this vintage 2023.

Editor’s note: ◉OOOO

France : La Zarra- Obviously

  • She is the candidate of Franceso we still support the principle.
  • A powerful voice (and fair).
  • The scenography : The Zarra looks stuck on its base and only moves its arms.
  • The song lacks pep. We salute the effort, but give us back Barbara Pravi.

Editor’s note: ◉◉◉OO

Cyprus : Andrew Lambrou- Break A Broken Heart

  • Tortured young man singing desperate words of love under a waterfall. Yeah.
  • Ah, maybe the fire at the end. And even.
  • Seen, seen, seen and seen again. And what is this look?

Editor’s note: ◉OOOO

Spain : Blanca Paloma- EAEA

  • One of our favorite songs from this Eurovision
  • Percussivewell interpreted.
  • traditional music flamenco mixes perfectly with electro.
  • It may lack a more explosive chorus to get up from our couch.

Editor’s note: ◉◉◉◉O

Sweden :Loreen- Tattoo

  • The quintessential Eurovision song : the vocal flights, the rhythm, the text… Everything is there.
  • A scenography which has the merit of being a bit elaborate.
  • The voice : Loreen still sings very well, objectively.
  • The great favorite bookmakers. Well Named ? We doubt it, the performance is (subjectively) not the best.
  • Loreen has already won Eurovision in 2012, it’s too easy. Just like his song.

Editor’s note: ◉◉◉OO

Albania : Albina & Familja Kelmendi – Duje

  • Original proposal : a family song and live performance as Albina sings with her father, mother and siblings. Nice.
  • effective song, sung in Albanian. Good point.
  • The scenography lacks a bit of energy and the performance may not impress many people.

Editor’s note: ◉◉OOO

Italy : Marco Mengoni- Due Quickly

  • He sings in Italian. That’s all.
  • From the first notes, it’s a big no. Let’s stop with these honeyed pop songs.
  • Vocallylive, it’s… light.

Editor’s note: ◉OOOO

Estonia :Alika- Bridges

  • Piano-(beautiful) voiceit works.
  • The clothe : we love this look and this piano that plays by itself.
  • Alone in a somewhat simplistic scene for Eurovision. We want neon, glitter and flames.

Editor’s note: ◉◉OOO

Finland : Käärija – Cha Cha Cha

  • Bookmakers Favoritesthe Finns are our darlings of Eurovision 2023: a catchy fluorescent staging and an electro song (not to be listened to too loudly) absolutely perfect for this competition.
  • CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA!
  • Beware of false notes live.

Editor’s note: ◉◉◉◉O

Czech Republic :Vesna- My sister’s crown

  • The message : an assembly of six women for a strong and feminist song… The recipe is promising and Vesna a good surprise.
  • Multicultural : the song is performed in English, Czech, Ukrainian and Bulgarian.
  • The disappointing scenography : the version on the Eurovision stage is far from the superb promotional clip of the song, it’s a shame.

Editor’s note: ◉◉◉◉O

Australia : To travel – promise

  • Capillary effort : possibly, the haircut of the singer. But if you really have to find the positive.
  • What is the project ? We are still looking for the interest of this song which goes through all styles without succeeding in hooking us once.

Editor’s note: ◉OOOO

Belgium : Gustav – Because Of You

  • WE LOVE. The music, the scenography, the looks. Clearly our favorite candidate for this Eurovision 2023. A cowboy in a puffy pink suit and Voguing dancers, that’s what we want to see.

Editor’s note: ◉◉◉◉◉

Armenia :Brown- future lover

  • The Eurovision underdog? We start like Agnès Obel, to end in rap. Audacious: it works and could be one of the surprises of this Eurovision.
  • The clothe : he has reason to express some reservations about the look of Brunette…

Editor’s note: ◉◉◉◉O

Moldova : Pasha Parfeni – Soarele si Luna

  • Staging : the shamanic atmosphere, why not.
  • originality : this song could have been presented every year at Eurovision, it would be the same. It’s already heard and we’re bored.
  • The choregraphy : the dancers playing fake drums and a small person playing the flute???

Editor’s note: ◉◉OOO

Ukraine :TVORCHI- heart of steel

  • The clothe : we like this little golden jumpsuit.
  • We are bored. We are far from the originality of Kalush, winner of Eurovision 2022, with this song which is sorely lacking in bite and musicians.
  • That’s a shametheir song about one of the most significant events of the war in Ukraine, the siege of the Mariupol steelworks.

Editor’s note: ◉◉◉OO

Norway : Alessandra- Queen of Kings

  • The atmosphere : between medieval singing, with electro sauce, we are clearly in an atmosphere half-Puy du fou, half-rave party. For Eurovision, it works.
  • The style : small doubt on the clothes and on the lasers of the dancers by way of scenography.

Editor’s note: ◉◉◉OO

Germany :Lord of the Lost- Blood & Glitter

  • The style : their looks are incredible.
  • Blood and glitter? This is the very example of why we love to hate Eurovision: totally improbable and too much.

Editor’s note: ◉◉OOO

Lithuania : Monika Linkyte – Stay

Editor’s note: ◉OOOO

Israel : Noa Kirel – unicorn

  • Everybody stand up : with this song, the Eurovision audience goes wild. Good point also for the choreo.
  • THE POWER OF A UNICOOOOORNit’s no.
  • Beware of false notes live.

Editor’s note: ◉◉OOO

Slovenia :Joker Out- Carpe Diem

  • We are still looking for the positive.
  • It’s no. But given the title of the song, we should have known. Especially since this title mixes a lot of inspirations (or plagiarism?) on other songs that we would prefer to listen to.

Editor’s note: ◉OOOO

Croatia : Let 3 – Mama ŠČ!

  • The performance : we hold the strong, crazy and political performance of this vintage 2023. he Croats of Let 3 are a pleasure to see, in military uniform as in kangaroo underwear.
  • The make-ups are flawless.
  • Too much information : difficult to follow these five fanatics, between the video effects, the colors and the costumes… And these underpants! We are tired.

Editor’s note: ◉◉◉OO

United Kingdom : Mae Muller- I write a song

  • The piece : it’s punchy, danceable and tailor-made for the airwaves around the world. One of our favorite songs from this 2023 vintage.
  • The style : we are afraid that she bursts her eye with such nails.

Editor’s note: ◉◉◉◉O

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