Woman and autism: today the stereotypes still delay the diagnosis

“There are as many forms of autism as there are autistics”. These words are those of Lali Dugelay autistic asperger who has become a lecturer and specialist in inclusion since her diagnosis acquired only three years ago after years of wandering. But it is clear that if the difficulties are the same for all subjects, female autism very often encounters gender-related barriers.

Much more than the man, the autistic woman manages to hide her disorder

“One of the big differences in female autism is that we camouflage ourselves a lot more than men, which is why we slip through the cracks of diagnosis for a long time. A diagnosis which, moreover, was created by male psychiatrists, for male children. We may be equal in theory, we do not have exactly the same genes and the tests are not perfectly adapted to us” recognizes the author.

A trend that also finds its origin in women themselves: in their social role, women in general do not listen to each other enough, they take it upon themselves, feel guilty…”But they are very numerous to come to see me at the end of my conferences to tell me that they recognize themselves in what I say. There is an obvious under-diagnosis in France and many more ASD women than we detect” judge the author.

Feminine TSA: clichés still die hard

In addition to passing under the radar, women who ask themselves questions about their way of being, of thinking, quickly come up against a series of platitudes that do not make their task any easier. “Autism is not part of the common core of psychiatric studies. It is therefore necessary today to want to look into the question to have knowledge. A large part of French psychiatrists today do not have sufficient knowledge on this subject, or have a small idea of ​​​​the thing, an often erroneous idea” reveals the trainer.

Moreover, women are easily steered towards false diagnoses, such as bipolarity or depression, which may be comorbidities in autistic women, but are not by default. The author speaks of persistent “biases”: “In some doctors, in the entourage, the family…, autism is “a boy thing”. Moreover, from childhood, we will examine more a shy little boy who will not fit into the boxes while a shy little girl is perceived as simply fragile by nature. We have to break this!” points out the author.

Being diagnosed as an adult: a long obstacle course

If not spotted in childhood, autism, “from which we do not recover” recalls Lali Dugelay, impacts the life of the woman in the making, until it becomes unbearable. “We learned to camouflage ourselves, but at some point, the inadequacy, the constant efforts to be accepted by the neurotypical (people without autism) bring us down.” Again, turning to the right people takes time: “I wanted to do this process at the age of 30, in 2007, when my malaise, my inadequacy was very high. But public diagnostic centers were asking for 2 to 3 years of waiting at the time”.

The other possible route was to contact a psychologist recommended by the Ile-de-France autism resource center. What Lali finally does at the age of 43. “These are tests passed in the liberal, therefore not reimbursed and expensive. But which finally made it possible to pose a real diagnosis (autism) on who I was, and to confirm what I had known for a long time.

Release and care, what the diagnosis changes

For three years, since her discomfort was officially “labeled” Asperger autism, Lali Dugelay has been living again and can finally be herself, without apologizing. A liberation that she recounts throughout her book “Autism is my superpower”. “To finally have this diagnosis was to tell myself that I hadn’t made a mistake about myself, to no longer have to apologize and to tell myself that now I was only going to surround myself with people capable of accept me with my honesty and everything that makes me special. My immediate family (husband and children) understood that I was not responsible. And too bad for those who still don’t believe it. I want to explain patiently how I feel things, but I no longer want to justify myself”.

On the management side of her disorder, the young woman is accompanied by a TSA psychologist monthly; sometimes more, if an emotional overload occurs. She also takes treatments to treat her comorbidities (anxiety for example) and finds salvation in sport to channel herself and increase the effects of anxiolytics. But the most important thing is for her. “I live with my autism, and I understand today why I am like this” concludes Lali Dugelay.