The arrival of a child can turn a couple’s life upside down, especially in terms of sexuality. A reality that is even truer among young breastfeeding mothers since other factors come into play. Why do we feel less like making love when we are breastfeeding our baby? How to find the desire? The advice of Dr Odile Bagot, gynecologist.
Fatigue, sudden drop in estrogen levels, pain in the vagina and perineum… The period following childbirth, whether or not you have decided to breastfeed your baby, can jeopardize the libido young mothers. While this may be a concern for the couple, it should be borne in mind that this period is normal and transient. Rest assured: by taking your time and communicating with your partner, everything will be back to normal.
What role does breastfeeding have on libido?
The emotional demand of the baby is such that it is difficult to feel desire for a man
During pregnancy, a pregnant woman’s libido experiences many fluctuations.. This is due to the hormonal upheaval but also to the way in which the future mother perceives the evolutions of her body and apprehends her new role. After childbirth, all these hormones fall back to their original level while prolactin, which ensures the production of breast milk, increases. As a result, not only does the mother’s attention focus more on her newborn, but she will also suffer from vaginal dryness and therefore poor lubrication, even if excitation is present. “The pain associated with childbirth, especially in the event of a tear or episiotomy, can also act as a brake on sexual desire. In addition, during breastfeeding, the breasts are tense, sore and tender. Therefore, their stimulation during intercourse can be unpleasant. Not to mention the involuntary ejections of milk that can disrupt the antics. There is also the context that delays the resumption of intercourse: fatigue, bodily changes that are not always easy to accept, but also the fact that the baby’s affective demands are such that it is difficult to feel desire for a man. There is also the attitude of the father who sometimes does not dare to be demanding and puts himself a little behind in relation to the baby. It’s up to him to be proactive and claim his place… in all delicacy and benevolence! However, the resumption of intercourse is not evident in women and may take time. The important thing is to listen to yourself and go at your own pace “develops Odile Bagot.
Why not make love while breastfeeding?
It is not forbidden to make love while breastfeeding, quite the contrary! “In a sense, the woman who chooses not to breastfeed manifests the desire to return to the status of woman and lover because a woman who breastfeeds is dependent on her baby. And then, we must not forget that in general , the woman’s libido is more contextual and less hormonal than in the man. Symbolically, it is he who must cut the cord between the mother and the child otherwise they will remain glued to each other. father has a role to play in the socialization of the child, he must open him to the outside world “advises the gynecologist.
First of all, communicate with your partner.
“Sexuality can resume a course satisfying two conditions: that the quality of sexual life before pregnancy was good, in which case things will get back in place quickly, and that there is a good understanding between the two partners”, inform our interlocutor. To regain the desire to make love when you have decided to breastfeed your baby, you must above all communicate with your partner, let him know our feelings, our fears. But also multiply the little touches and tender gestures that help stimulate seduction and sexual desire. The man must make every effort to show his wife that he wants her so that she feels confident. Finally, having baby in the same room can literally block the libido, so you have to move somewhere else! One watchword: patience. The erotic bond will be restored over time.
Thanks to Dr. Odile Bagot, gynecologist, author of Endocrine Disruptors, war is declared! , published by Mango. Every week, she enriches her Mam Gyneco FB page with a new article or video.