Here is the sentence that Priscillia * had to collect the day after her delivery by cesarean section, from a pediatrician at the maternity hospital in Saint-Maurice, in Val-de-Marne. Between incomprehension and astonishment, she ended up doubting and feeling guilty, until the medical team confirmed to her that she could not have done otherwise. Interview.
Childbirth, one of the most beautiful moments in life, is not spared by the maternity injunctions like the one that implies thata caesarean would not be a real childbirth and who of course has the gift of annoying young mothers. This is the case of Priscillia * who gave birth, somehow, to her first child last November, at the maternity hospital of Saint-Maurice. An emergency caesarean section was performed, and everything went well… Until the visit of the pediatrician the day after her delivery. She tells us how it happened and how she felt:
Why was the caesarean section induced?
Priscilla: After more than 30 hours of work, the medical team offered me to rperform a caesarean because my cervix was no longer dilating. The stagnation of the dilation of the cervix is also one of the medical reasons sometimes requiring a cesarean section. I had been stuck at 7 for 8 hours, the baby was still not engaged in the pelvis and the midwife made me understand that the delivery could still last for hours, and that if I exhausted myself, the baby too might be tired. I was indeed at my wit’s end, I was vomiting following the epidural which, moreover, was no longer really having an effect.
How did you experience giving birth by caesarean section?
At this time, we ask ourselves a lot of questions. “Why isn’t the labor progressing?”, “Is the baby okay?”, “Maybe the cord is wrapped around the neck?. In the end, I was rather relieved to be able to get the baby out as soon as possible, to be reassured and avoid complications. The caesarean was not the birth I imagined because I didn’t expect more than that. The dad was a little apprehensive, because it is still an operation under anesthesia, but everything happened very quickly and it went very well. The main thing for me was to know that the baby is doing well. After a quick first kiss, I was then taken to the rest room for two hours, while the dad did his first skin to skin.
How did you react when you visited the pediatrician the day after your delivery?
He arrived asking me the date of birth of the baby. I answered her questions by stating that the delivery had taken place by caesarean section. That’s when he asks me:are you lazy?”. At the time, I didn’t really understand if it was a joke, his humor, or if he was serious. Faced with my astonishment, he adds “yes, you didn’t want to push, you didn’t want to work!”. I was speechless, looking at the dad, who didn’t understand the situation either. Faced with a stony silence, the pediatrician tried to change the subject by asking me what I did for a living. I simply retorted that I was “lazy” regretting not having had the courage to kick him out.
Did his words make you feel guilty?
Yes, clearly. The day after childbirth, young mothers are particularly weak, tired, and hormones make us sensitive to all these misplaced phrases. I was not particularly disappointed not to have given birth vaginally as long as the baby was doing well. But Following his remarks, I asked myself a lot of questions and I ended up having doubts. “What if I had waited a little longer?”, “If I had moved or walked, could the dilation have resumed?” “Was I really lazy to the point of preferring the cesarean, was it the convenience or necessity?.
I had to ask the question at each post-delivery visit, to the gynecologist, to the midwife who visited me at home, but also to the PMI, until the one who performed the cesarean D-Day explains to me that stagnation is one of the causes of the caesarean section and that they usually don’t wait more than 6 hours. She admits to me then that the medical team waited 8 hours because she had just had a difficult night and that “it was better for everyone to be able to operate in good conditions“. At each appointment, I had to hear that the decision did not come from me but from the medical team and that recourse to the cesarean section was indeed necessary. It was only then that I stopped feeling guilty.
However, I remain shocked that a pediatrician can make such comments the day after childbirth, entering the room of a young mother. Especially since the government keeps repeating that it must at all costs prevent the risk of baby blues and postpartum depression, that affects many women.
*name has been changed