On July 19, the book “You can’t do it” by Gnu, whose real name is Jasmine, was published. She is the first German-speaking gamer to have more than 1 million subscriptions on YouTube. MeinMMO Editor-in-Chief Leya read her book and wished someone had handed it to her 14 year old self. Maybe then she wouldn’t have judged her own nerdyness and insecurities so harshly.
I still remember exactly when we reported with MeinMMO 2021 that Gnu was the first gaming YouTuber to reach 1 million subscriptions. I was angry that day.
I was pleased that the gaming landscape at the top became a bit more diverse. But then came what had to come. The comment column under the article and on our social media postings quickly filled up with stupid remarks along the lines of: “It’s clear why she did it. Wink, wink.”
Of course, the comments alluded to the fact that Gnu is an attractive young woman and that’s what success is all about. Most of these comments will no longer be found because we have deleted them. At the time, I was annoyed about every single one of these comments.
In her book, Gnu describes her long ordeal and hard struggle to get where she is today.
I wish I had read a book like this when I was 14. Perhaps I would have recognized earlier that I am not a total freak with my passion for the nerd cosmos, that I am not alone with my insecurities and that I would have seen a perspective for myself. Because there were hardly any role models for young girls like me back in the 90s and 2000s. I am 32 years old today.
Here you come to the Amazon page of Gnu’s book “You Can’t Do It”
About flight from reality and obsession with beauty
I now have a large pile of books that should teach me something. Including management, communication, problem solving, team leadership and lots of other stuff that wants to help me be successful.
These books are always structured in a similar way. A person who made it briefly tells about where there were difficulties and how he solved them. It’s also logical. After all, you want to benefit from the solution yourself.
But sometimes it’s also frustrating. Because for me it often seems in the compressed version as if it was all really easy.
In Gnu’s book it’s different. She pulls completely naked and gives intimate insights that I would not have expected. In her book, she mainly makes room for the problems and struggles to achieve her success.
Gnu is blunt about her inner struggles with being an outsider at school and how she starts chasing unrealistic ideals. What I find particularly exciting here is that she was primarily based on characters like Lara Croft or anime characters like Bulma from Dragon Ball. This was her world.
That makes me think again about how harmful these heavily exaggerated fictional characters can be for young people. So we can only welcome the trend that we now have more diversity here and that characters like Aloy from Horizon paint a different picture than busty, hourglass figure, make-up and perfect hair – even if not everyone likes it.
A very big topic of the book is the eating disorder that Gnu developed in the course of her life and which she held tightly in her claws for 10 years. She also speaks openly about the cosmetic surgeries she has undergone. Today she has this reversed step by step, since she never actually wanted the operations of her own, inner volition.
Her job as a gaming influencer only fueled this disruption, because you have to deal with the public eye and social media – and of course people who criticize your own looks to the bone.
Always at eye level
I can find my young self well in wildebeest descriptions. My youth was plagued by bullying, which was closely related to my interests in gaming, anime, and nerdy subjects.
Admittedly, I had never succumbed to an insane ideal of beauty. But in my desperation, self-injurious behavior ensued. As Gnu describes it in her book, I too always had the feeling that I could never be enough.
I feel like a book like that could have helped me a lot when I was a young girl. Because it is particularly difficult at a young age to talk about insecurities, fears, one’s own sexuality or abuse by other people.
A book like this could have shown little Leya that she is certainly not alone with her problems. Of course, it would have been particularly great to read something like this from a successful gamer who shares her own nerdy interests!
Gnu wrote the book together with co-author Lisa Ludwig, the editor-in-chief of Moviepilot and known from the podcast Lästerschwestern. The two managed to write the book in a way that was approachable and to stay on an equal footing. The style is casual and easy to understand, making it great for a younger audience.
Co-author Lisa Ludwig is editor-in-chief at Moviepilot. The website belongs to Webedia. MeinMMO is also part of Webedia, just like GameStar and GamePro.
Insight behind the facade of the supposedly perfect dream life as a gaming influencer
Many young people in particular today have the desire to make it big on Twitch, YouTube, TikTok and Instagram. In the gaming sector, it is often shown that you get paid for gambling, are allowed to play games earlier, are at cool events and also get gifts all the time. dream job!
But the reality is a bit different and Gnu shows that too. It’s about working independently, meeting deadlines, conducting tough business negotiations, marketing. Constantly observing the numbers and trends, reacting to them and absurd working hours that go far beyond a 40-hour week.
A growing number of gaming influencers are speaking out about collapsing under the pressure.
Twitch eats its children – A German streamer says “It will destroy me”
Gnu is honest enough to report that this was only possible with the support of her family. She started her YouTube career while she was still studying, when she also had another job on the side. There’s a lot of ambition involved.
These are those hidden works and backgrounds that you don’t see just by watching a video or stream. Exactly this information would certainly be good for many a young person who is planning a career in this direction.
Who Should Read Gnu’s Book?
I would give this book to younger people in particular. Because many of the topics that are addressed here concern us at a difficult age for us, when we don’t really know who we are and what we really want.
However, the book carefully deals with difficult topics such as eating disorders and at no point does it provide instructions on how to do the same.
If you are thinking of giving the book to your child, I would read it first myself. For a very young audience in particular, the themes are sometimes very grown-up. Perhaps you would prefer to skip one or the other chapter or at least read it together with the child.
I would also recommend it if you are considering pursuing a career as a gaming influencer. Here you will get in-depth insights that will give you a good idea of what kind of job is really in store for you.
As a 30+ year old I was able to get a lot out of the book though. Especially as someone who works in the media environment himself and well … was also a stupid teenager who found confirmation and some balm to hug my inner child tightly again.
MeinMMO interviewed Gnu in 2020: Sexism in the gaming industry: “I thought that was part of it”