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Be careful with your entourage! Out of jealousy, comparison or a desire to keep you by their side, some “friends” would not be so benevolent and would even wish that you do not shine too much. Here are 8 signs that evoke a toxic friendship.
The line is sometimes thin between a friend who gives you constructive criticism, with the aim of improving you, and one who hopes, consciously or not, for your downfall. Indeed, according to psychology, some people we consider friends do not always have our interests at heart. Out of jealousy or insecurity, some people even try to sabotage your happiness, or at least enjoy your failure. It is therefore better to know the signs of this false friend, to distance yourself from them or set the record straight! To this end, the magazine Hack Spirit has compiled 8 signs that prove this toxic connection.
It subtly discourages you
The first sign to notice is your friend’s regular tendency to want to discourage you. He may minimize your accomplishments, or talk about your goal in a pessimistic way. When you present an idea, this friend automatically emphasizes the potential for failure, or questions your abilities to achieve it. If this is not accompanied by useful advice, you can conclude that this advice is not benevolent. Of course, the context must be taken into account (crazy project, anxious person, etc.) but in general, a friend must be there to support you, not discourage you.
He doesn’t seem very happy about your success.
Are you announcing a promotion after a major project? It’s normal for those around you to be happy for you and share your joy. It’s less likely that a friend will react in a lukewarm, unenthusiastic “Good for you” way. This way of minimizing progress is often a sign of jealousy or resentment. In short, he doesn’t want the best for you.
He delights in your failures
Fake friendship goes up a notch when the person seems relieved, even happy about a failure. Even if it is human nature to sometimes rejoice in the misfortune of others, this is problematic when it comes to a friend. For the media, this unhealthy satisfaction is born above all from feelings of jealousy and competition. Two notions that are harmful to a sincere friendship.
He spreads negative information about you
Another red flag is that friend who, whether jokingly or not, shares your failures or negative information about you, as if to sabotage your reputation. Since this attitude is actually a lack of respect and yet another sign of jealousy, perhaps you need to review the nature of your friendship.
He is not there in difficult times
True friendship is not just about being there for the celebrations, but also being there for you during the storms. So is a friend who is nowhere to be found at that moment really a friend? For the author, this attitude does not necessarily mean that this acquaintance wants you to fail, but it does indicate that the person does not really care about you.
It makes you doubt your worth
A dig here, a put-down there, or even a backhanded compliment… over time, these seemingly minor comments start to undermine your self-esteem? Nothing more normal. In the long run, it can also call into question your own values, under the phenomenon of gaslighting. It is also a form of emotional manipulation that can be a sign that a friend secretly wants to see you fail. If you find yourself in a similar situation, it is important to recognize the impact this has on you and to address the problem directly with your friend.
He competes with you unnecessarily
Healthy competition can foster growth and mutual improvement in a friendship. But when competition becomes excessive or unnecessary, it can signal a problem. If your friend is always trying to outdo you, or seems to turn every situation into a competition, it may mean that they are more interested in outdoing you than supporting you. This could stem from feelings of insecurity or jealousy, but it requires an open conversation about these feelings.
Feeling good in your body, feeling good in your head!
It doesn’t support your goals
A friend who wants to see you fail will often show a lack of support for your dreams and goals. Whether it’s not taking your aspirations seriously, showing indifference, or trying to steer you off your path, this lack of support can be a significant indicator.
Finally, remember that true friends believe in you and your potential. They are there for you and encourage you. If this is not the case, even if it is rooted in personal concerns and a difficult context, it may be time to evaluate your friendship and have an honest conversation.
Slideshow: 10 Signs of a Toxic Friendship