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Updated
Reading 2 min.
in collaboration with
Johanna Rozenblum (clinical psychologist)
Do you have a child project in mind, but don’t know if your partner is on the same wavelength? Certain signs may alert you. Our psychologist Johanna Rozenblum tells us what strongly resembles a man (or woman) ready to take the plunge.
Are we ever really ready to become a parent and experience the great upheaval that is parenthood? The question is vast. But envy, on the other hand, can rear its ugly head in a couple without premeditation. What are the signs that your partner is thinking about it too? Johanna Rozenblum has some answers.
6 signs that show a change of direction towards parenthood
In general, the person who is considering the possibility of becoming a parent changes their attitude slightly and their relationship with others, even their relationship with material things, evolves, tells us our expert who sees 6 evocative signs.
- He/she becomes touched in front of the children : This is new! While children were not an everyday theme, your partner is now touched by the births at friends’ homes, the arrival of a great-nephew, or even the “too cute” young children who are at the park .
- He/she projects himself into a more distant future. The word has changed. While life boiled down to what was projected this evening or next weekend, discussions now turn more to the future, choices, where you would like to live, etc. In short, the person sees further.
- He/she begins to learn about the subject. Is your partner starting to be interested in themes around children, childhood, and the roots of education? Whether in debates with friends, through readings, or documentaries? It’s a good sign.
- He/she questions his/her friends who are already parents. “What’s it like to be a parent, does it change a lot?” Is the question nagging him or her, and does your partner talk a lot about this change in your circle of friends? Perhaps he is projecting himself.
- He/she renounces his/her former adolescent habits. Generally, someone who is considering becoming a parent calms down in a certain way. He doesn’t become a homebody of course, but let’s say that almost naturally, the person evolves in his way of managing his budget, of managing his daily life, resumes a better lifestyle and leaves (a little) aside his irresponsible side.
- He/she makes choices related to possible maternity/paternity: Obviously, if you have to move and you choose together accommodation with a second bedroom, or a car spacious enough to cover any eventuality… We can say that the sign is quite clear.
NO to diets, YES to WW!
He or she is showing signs: should we bring up the subject?
For our psychologist there is no doubt that if you want a child and your partner also shows signs of an emerging desire, you must dare to address the issue.
“A priori, except in very special cases, parenthood is not supposed to be taboo! So if we guess some signals which announce a desire to be a father (or mother), even without them being verbalized by the spouse, it “It’s a very good idea to raise the subject. Maybe he doesn’t even realize it himself, or needs something concrete! If we perceive it, yes we have to talk.”
On the other hand, if you start the baby conversation, don’t be afraid if doubt is also part of the discussion. “It is completely normal, even in those who are ready. There is always an element of doubt in such a decision, that’s the nature of parenthood!” vsconcluded our psychologist.