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in collaboration with
Siyana Mincheva (Psychologist, psychotherapist)
After an argument, it’s not easy to find the right way to get back to the person you’ve had a fight with. However, there are some fairly simple ways to renew dialogue and ease tensions. Here are five, with Siyana Mincheva, psychologist.
Whether with a friend, a parent or a spouse, arguing is never pleasant. But once the storm has passed, sometimes it’s the aftermath that is even more difficult to face. So how do you apologize after an argument? Here are five ways to do it, detailed by Siyana Mincheva, psychologist.
Find the right formula
To be able to apologize to a person, you must first establish what happened by starting a sort of dialogue with yourself, before making a decision and going to talk to them. “But beware“, warns Siyana Mincheva, “you should never make final decisions in a state of emotion, during an emotional shock for example or when you are angry, or very upset…“.
Recognize the need to apologize
To successfully apologize, you can simply acknowledge your wrongs. “It is important to detach ourselves from our sorrows because otherwise our ego takes over and it becomes a real battle. The key is to match the size of the apology to the scale of the conflict” confides the specialist. “For example, if you were in a bad mood last week with your spouse because of your work, your role is to acknowledge it and apologize, while thinking about how you will change that, in the future “.
Be more attentive to others
Wanting to apologize to someone shows that you want to move forward in the relationship, but to do that, you have to understand the other person without judging them. “When apologizing, we must not give the impression of judging the other. For example, you have to cite qualities in the other person and remain kind, explaining that you had no intention of hurting them.” explains our expert.
Dare to take the first step without delay
Taking the first step towards the other requires courage and demonstrates a desire for reconciliation. “We must not shy away from confrontation because the more time passes since the argument, the more difficult reconciliation will be” warns the psychologist.
Good in his body, good in his head!
Write a letter
Apologies can also be in written form. It can be a love letter or a note of apology, depending on the recipient. “It may sound sentimental but it works!” assures our expert. “This allows us to understand our value and realize what we are for our partner. A practice that is somewhat forgotten today within couples, even though it helps strengthen the relationship and trust in each other.” she concludes.
Slide: 9 tips for apologizing well