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Reading 2 min.
in collaboration with
Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical psychologist)
If arguments can’t be avoided, a detective reveals some strategies to (always) win them.
In our daily lives, we often face conflicts, whether at work or at home. However, faced with these tensions, we often tend to want to be right. A big mistake, according to a former detective. To “win”, several strategies must be put in place. We explain which ones to you, with the help of Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist.
Understand the other before attacking
Winning a conflict or debate usually involves getting the other person to consider their point of view. However, this can only happen by validating and understanding the other’s opinion, even if it is not to your liking.
“This includes phrases like “I understand why you think that” and questions like “Can you tell me more about that?“, details the detective on the site Yourtango.
To obtain a positive result, it is therefore essential to listen (attentively) to others and to show empathy. By putting ourselves in their shoes, we can better understand their motivations and concerns. This understanding forms the basis of effective communication, even in the midst of confrontation.
It is therefore appropriate to “playing on the art of subtlety”, believes Amélie Boukhobza“remaining in control, without seeking domination.”
Good in his body, good in his head!
5 psychological strategies to win any conflict
To “win” a conflict – while creating an environment where everyone feels valued – you just need to adopt a few tactics.
Strategy number 1. Listen actively before responding, let the other person express themselves. “It means respecting your point of view, but also taking advantage of it to capture essential information. Often, the other feels understood and releases tension, which gives the advantage“, says the expert.
Strategy number 2. Stay calm, even when things get hot. “Too much emotion can confuse logic. By maintaining a calm tone and relaxed body language, you remain in control of the situation. Nothing destabilizes more than an impassive opponent; this is often where he starts to panic and make mistakes“, explains the specialist.
Strategy number 3. Ask questions. “This is my favorite asset. Instead of asserting your ideas head-on, it’s much more strategic to ask questions. It encourages others to reveal themselves, often by exposing their flaws, while positioning themselves as someone who is attentive.“, reveals the practitioner.
Strategy number 4. Use body language to your advantage. “Because observing the gestures and postures of others can say a lot. On the lookout for the slightest signs: stress, agitation, or on the contrary relaxation, to adapt your approach. Sometimes subtly imitating each other’s posture to create a certain connection that can defuse the conflict“, underlines Amélie Boukhobza.
Strategy number 5. Frame the end of the conversation. “When the time comes to conclude, rephrase the key points and propose a clear and constructive outcome. It leaves the other person with the feeling of having been heard while framing and directing the conflict towards the solution that is ours.” concludes the psychologist.
Slide: The keys to a healthy argument