Published on
Updated
Reading 3 min.
in collaboration with
Johanna Rozenblum (clinical psychologist)
Could living in the present moment be the magic ingredient to being happy? In any case, this is the point of many books. But in practice, it is not always easy to let go, especially when you are subject to many schedules. How can you give yourself a little more “free” time?
Carpe Diem, enjoy the moment… The phrase is pretty and pleads for greater letting go, but the practice is sometimes more complicated to put in place. Between work, children’s schedules, vacations and other imperatives, many adults are quick to plan everything so as not to lose track. However, all the personal development books (and the friends who wish you well) repeat it to you: let yourself be carried away by the present time, let yourself be surprised to better enjoy life and breathe. Okay, but what do you do when you’re not used to it?
5 ways of thinking that make a difference
In a recent publication of the magazine Psychology Today, Camille Preston, psychologist, shares what worked for her. A 5-step plan.
Allow yourself to be in the present
This can be in small steps, but don’t stay focused on the big projects, the upcoming vacation, in short only on what happens later. Take breaks. By getting carried away with planning for a future day, you risk missing the opportunities available to you here and now, like this unexpected invitation from an old friend.
Listen to the needs of your loved ones
Likewise, by being attached to a well-oiled schedule that integrates all the imperatives, it is easy to miss what you and your family really need (calm? Fresh air?…). Pausing to look at and listen to everyone’s wishes is necessary. And too bad if it calls into question this Tetris schedule.
Embrace the unexpected
Stop seeing the unexpected as an enemy (at least, try). Things and plans are never perfect but can be the starting point for a good time that you hadn’t even considered. A weekend turns out to be rainy? This is an opportunity to enjoy an equally warm game or movie evening.
Let others decide too
Do you know what can be as enjoyable as planning everything? Leave the hand to your partner for example. Who sometimes knows better than you what will do you good in the present moment or will come up with a new idea that will surprise you!
Spend more time sharing with others
Learning to accept discovery without knowing exactly what the next step is can be scary. But you don’t need to understand everything, be sure, or plan everything. Get back to basics and sometimes indulge your deepest desires. Then sit back and also enjoy the adventures and experiences of others that might inspire you.
Good in his body, good in his head!
No need to change everything. Freedom is acquired gradually
For Johanna Rozenblum, psychologist and member of our committee of experts, although the present moment can be good, it does not mean aiming for the total opposite of what we usually are. Which would set you up for failure.
“Planning everything is a way for some people to deal with their anxiety, their concern. We must therefore not immediately remove all these benchmarks from them. But if we feel the need to stop framing everything, and to leave ourselves a margin of freedom, then we must go there gradually.”
This could be, for example, leaving 2 hours of free time on a planned day outing, for example. “Between the time of arrival, return and meal, we can also leave ourselves a virgin beach and tell ourselves that we will let the desire decide at that moment.
If you are also used to having a specific schedule every weekend, our psychologist advises, for example, giving yourself some free time on Saturday morning before resuming your schedule, simply to ask yourself: “What do I want this morning?”.
“But immediately switching to whole days or a freestyle stay is far too complicated and destabilizing. The key is really to go at your own pace.e” concludes our expert.