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Things are not going well in your relationship and for some time now, the idea of divorce has been running through your mind? Before contacting a lawyer (or packing your bags), an expert recommends asking yourself five essential questions. Here are what they are.
Divorce is not uncommon these days. With an average of one in three couples separating in the provinces and one in two in Paris, there are many single people who have recently separated or divorced. However, before taking the plunge, divorce coach Grace Palmer, interviewed by the media YourTangorecommends asking yourself these five questions.
Is this the right thing to do?
It all depends on each situation, each couple obviously, but the first question to ask is whether divorcing is the right thing to do.Maybe you feel like you have no other choice, and that for you, this is the only possibility.” says the coach. “But there may be other people to consider in this situation. Because obviously, a divorce does not only concern adults, but also children.” she reminds us. It is better to be clear about what comes next before starting a procedure.
What are your expectations ?
Often, we think that we have fallen for the wrong person and that if this were not the case, we would be swimming in bliss without a shadow. However, a relationship is never perfect in every way and often has ups and downs.Of course, in certain situations of deception for example or for other situations, divorce is inevitable, but is this really your case?” asks the coach. It is essential for her to realize that once divorced, the situation will be irreversible.Just make sure you can honestly assess your situation and categorize it accordingly.” also recommends Grace Palmer.
Many people get divorced because they have a fantasy of a better life.”You think that if you were just free of this person, you would be able to achieve true fulfillment.” explains the coach. “Be sure that it is possible” she warns. “And if so, don’t hesitate.”
This is a question that we must honestly ask ourselves too.”It is entirely possible that your situation will deteriorate if you get to the point of divorce. You could have financial problems, you could be separated from your children, you could lose your family relationships, or even the approval of your loved ones.” lists the expert. All these disadvantages exist and must be taken into account.
What’s in it for me?
This question is finally the most obvious yet, it rarely happens that a person considering divorce has carefully thought through all the possible results and consequences of this act.You are the one who makes the decision, and you are the one who will have to live with the consequences of that choice.” recalls Grace Palmer.If you have thought carefully about the possibilities and made an informed decision based on reality, then you have done the best you could in a difficult situation. And that is all anyone can expect from you.” she concluded.
Slideshow: 10 tips for a successful divorce