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Over time, a certain form of routine sets in within the couple. Arguments and tensions can also be more frequent. To avoid constantly arguing about the same subjects, here are five phrases capable of defusing disagreements, without letting them fester.
Tensions in a relationship can be destructive, especially in long-term relationships. So, instead of ignoring them, it’s better to try to understand where they come from and try to defuse the situation. To do this, here are five phrases, recommended by Susan Allan, a life coach who answers the media Your Tango.
“The situation seems very stressful…”
To end an argument, Susan Allan’s first piece of advice is to adopt a tone of voice that is gentle, calm and collected.Most divorced men and women will tell you that arguing, making statements, or using an aggressive or loud tone contributed to the end of their marriage.” explains the life coach.
“I think I understand what you’re asking me…”
The second useful phrase to say in case of an argument is this one because it shows your ability to understand what the other person expects from you. In the same vein, avoid pointing out the other person’s faults by using “always” and “never”, such as “He never listens to me” Or “She always argues with me.”
“I remember the wonderful times of the past, can we try to live that again?”
Reminding your partner of pleasant memories is also a good way to defuse the start of a conflict. According to the expert, this is especially true for intimate moments. Instead of harshly criticizing your partner for their lack of interest, you can remind them of pleasant memories of times spent together.
“Can we set up a time to talk about this and come up with a plan together?”
Some issues, such as those related to finances, require calm discussions. Instead of arguing over the latest expense incurred by one or the other, it is better to take the time to talk about it calmly. This sentence allows you to plan a time to exchange, calmly and constructively.
Feeling good in your body, feeling good in your head!
“I want to make sure I understand how you feel…”
Instead of responding directly to a remark from your partner – which you may have misunderstood – asking them to clarify their thoughts can avoid certain conflicts. So get into the habit of saying this sentence, in order to understand their feelings. Finally, “To maintain a long-term relationship, it is essential to maintain respect, loyalty and trusttowards his partner” she concluded.
Slideshow: 8 Behaviors That Make an Argument Worse