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Romantic relationships can sometimes be complicated. But how to live a completely healthy relationship? A psychologist gives you five topics to discuss with your partner so that your relationship is as happy as possible. Here they are !
Being happy and thriving within your relationship is the ultimate goal of a relationship. To do this, both partners must be able to discuss their common projects… as well as what they don’t like. In other words, communication must be fluid and without taboos. To help you, American psychologist John Gottman determines five topics that should be discussed easily in order to enjoy a healthy and fulfilling relationship. We present them to you!
1) Change
According to psychologist Johan Gottman, fear of change is one of the main causes of couples separating. However, it is inevitable because from year to year, you and your partner evolve, grow and are therefore bound to change. As a result, your ambitions, your objectives and your desires change as the years go by. The expert explains that it is essential “to accept evolution and change in a relationship”. This goes through “allow your partner to calmly explain to you what they are experiencing, even if it is unusual, and to interest you in these changes”. To do this, make sure to adopt calm and transparent communication throughout your relationship, taking into account each other’s needs.
2) Things that bother you about others
Many people think that the secret to a lasting relationship is not to argue. However, according to Doctor John Gottman, conflict is, on the contrary, necessary and rather healthy in a couple. Indeed, telling the other person what you don’t like is one of the keys to a fulfilling relationship. We all face obstacles and it’s normal for certain things to annoy you about your partner, even if you’ve loved them for a long time. In this case, it is better to confide in your partner rather than trying to take it upon yourself by remaining silent. Indeed, being afraid of conflict could risk stopping you from asserting these small inconveniences.
3) Money
According to the psychologist, it is recommended to talk about money topics freely, in order to avoid creating possible tensions. Faced with the many scenarios and taboos created by society, this subject can easily be the source of discord, especially within a couple where you have to do activities together.
To avoid finding themselves in a complicated situation, a strong couple must be able to demonstrate transparency and calm on this subject. Between restaurants, cinema and vacations, partners must clearly explain their opinions and their way of operating to each other. The psychologist completes: “It’s very important to ask your partner about their history with money and what their hopes and goals are so you can share yours.”.
4) Sexuality
According to the psychologist, the balance of a couple also lies in the ease of the partners in talking about their sexuality. Everyone has their own experiences, so you and your partner may not see things the same way. However, it is essential to talk about it with each other in order to know their preferences, their way of thinking, and to understand their reactions. Doctor John Gottman explains that “Knowing what excites your partner and what doesn’t can also make you want to have more sex with them”. He concludes by saying that “Couples who can talk easily about their sex lives have more fulfilling sexual relationships”. Words that make you want to put this taboo aside!
5) Your vision of family (and children)
What does your spouse think about your future life? Does he want to have children? If yes how much ? Either way, it’s important to know how your partner views family life, and to make sure you’re on the same page as them. The doctor explains that, in the case where children are part of your plans, it is preferable to move forward in your relationship by having understood the vision that your partner has on the subject.
The psychologist cites a study which reveals that “67% of couples experience a decline in their relationship during the first three years after having their child”. A figure which clearly shows how necessary it is to share your vision of education and organization before starting your own family.
A healthy relationship in summary!
According to the professional, a healthy relationship boils down above all to a solid friendship, total trust, commitment and ease in intimacy. It is important to learn to manage conflicts together, addressing the issues while respecting each other. Finally, we must also have common objectives, without neglecting each person’s individual dreams.
In conclusion, in each of these situations it is imperative to communicate with your partner, especially when you are faced with a change, a new stage of life, in your relationship.
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