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When we are stressed, we sometimes do activities that we think are calming but which will actually only increase our anxiety. Which ones? Answers from a psychotherapist.
Watching a lousy show on TV to relax after a difficult day: we’ve all done it (or almost). However, this activity that is supposed to relax us does not always fulfill its role.
Why do some activities that are supposed to be calming actually cause anxiety? According to Niro Feliciano, author and psychotherapist interviewed by the Huffington Post, “doing this type of activity is natural for human beings.” On the other hand, we must be aware that they “exacerbate stress” and that it is better to “learn to manage it better”. Here’s what to avoid doing.
Avoid thinking about what stresses us out
Sometimes, when a subject particularly stresses us out, the first mechanism our brain puts in place is to run away from that thought. However, this form of avoidance is also a way of denying this emotion, as if it did not exist, which will ultimately lead to even more stress.
“When I have catastrophic thoughts, when I feel like something is going to go really wrong…I don’t avoid those thoughts,” explains Calvin Fitch, a licensed clinical health psychologist, to the Huffington Post.
Instead of ignoring how you feel, it’s better to figure out how to deal with it. This can be through breathing exercises, putting on music to dance or even taking a shower to calm down.
Ask others for their opinion
When we are anxious, our instinct pushes us to question others to find out their point of view on this or that subject. However, asking for lots of advice can also distract us from how we feel. The anxiety will then return later, multiplied. It is therefore better to refocus on yourself, by listening to your body and feeling the emotions that are going through us at that moment.
Listening to white noise
White noises are sounds meant to be calming, to help a baby fall asleep, for example. But that’s not the case for everyone. Some people find the frequencies of white noise to be too high and too stimulating. Listening to white noise will then turn into a particularly distressing activity. Avoid, therefore, and prefer music, by activating your favorite playlist.
Accept additional tasks
When feeling anxious, it is not uncommon for some people to take on extra work, hoping to relax in this way. It is a mistake. When we are emotionally unavailable, it is difficult to do things in addition to our professional obligations.
“This can increase stress levels and cause more anxiety, panic and depressive symptoms.” explains Niro Feliciano again. “By imposing this on ourselves, when we do not have the necessary resources, it increases our frustration.”.
On the contrary for her, in these moments you have to postpone what you can postpone and take time for yourself. This could be a walk with a friend, spending time in nature, meditating, or doing breathing exercises.
Ignore stress
Ignoring the stress you feel is never a good solution. Instead of denying what you feel, therapists advise on the contrary to recognize your emotions and identify stressful situations.
It is also possible to do prevention, by exercising regularly and maintaining a healthy diet, getting good sleep and being kind to yourself. Finally, experts recommend, “The best thing to do is to find the activities that calm you down the most.” And, if you can’t do it and stress is taking up a growing place in your life, don’t hesitate to seek help from a specialist.
Slide: 7 strategies to ease your anxiety