You don’t like your life? Our psychologist reveals some ways to remedy this.
This can happen to anyone. One day, we think about it and say to ourselves, “I don’t like my life.” “When we come to say this to ourselves, it is a sign of a profound imbalance between our fundamental personal needs in connection with our values, our intimate beliefs, and the situations around us that we have. feeling of having to endure This often results in deep sadness, a feeling of discouragement, frustration and anger. immediately poses Daniela Silva Moura, doctor in clinical psychology and psychopathology.
Some people explain that they don’t like their lives because they feel like they haven’t been able to control or choose these disarming situations for themselves. However, it is important to remember that, although at certain periods of our life (notably during childhood and adolescence), many situations may have been imposed on us, it is appropriate to take one’s own responsibilities at the same time. adulthood as to what we wish to do with our present. Here are 4 concrete actions when you don’t like your life:
- Identify in a very honest way the situations, attitudes and relationships that you still allow to exist in your life and which contribute to this feeling of chronic dissatisfaction. “The idea is not to deny what we may have suffered without having been able to defend ourselves, but to decide what we want to do with all of this today. What is the place in our mind , in our daily life, in our heart that we are ready to dedicate to it? It’s about doing everything we can to regain both our ability to distance ourselves and to control things that concern us.”develops the psychologist.
- Accept what you cannot change. “What would allow us to welcome into our lives in a less painful way what we have no control over? What are the things within our reach that we can act on?” asks our expert. This way, we can work on the smallest things that can allow us to get as close as possible to the (daily) life we would like to live.
- Avoid projecting yourself into a too distant future. It is preferable to define beforehand what we would like to feel pleasant in our daily lives. An exercise which can sometimes be quite complex but which remains fundamental. “We must act on what is within our reach moment by moment, starting with the present. After all, the present moment is the only moment when it is possible to experience anything”believes Daniela Silva Moura.
4. Open your eyes. Satisfaction and pleasure are hidden everywhere, in the simplest things. “To access it, it involves making the conscious decision to do so by paying curious and caring attention to each action we undertake, remembering that today, no one other than us holds the keys of our happiness”suggests our expert.
Thanks to Daniela Silva Moura, doctor in clinical psychology and psychopathology, author of the book “The better I know myself, the better I treat myself” (Ed. le Courrier du Livre, 2024)