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Stop talking to your partner, compare him or her to other people… As a couple, you can unintentionally use words that hurt. What are the attitudes to avoid at all costs, to preserve your relationship? Here are the four most common toxic behaviors that should be avoided.
Have you ever wondered about how toxic you can be to your partner? An American couples therapist, Jeff Guenther, denounces in a TikTok video four common toxic behaviors in couples, which it is urgent to stop, to avoid provoking resentment from his partner.
Stop talking to your partner after an argument
The first thing the expert denounces is “making a face” to his partner. He believes that this behavior is reproduced by people who experienced this with their parents as children. “This is childish and naughty behavior, which causes anxiety” he says, before adding that he “hates it”.
Some people in the comments of the video ask him how to avoid this. The therapist recommends telling your partner that you “need to get away to feel better.”
Comparing your current partner to your ex
The second thing that the couples therapist denounces is comparing his or her current partner to the previous one. “Some people are desperate to mention that their ex was better. It’s simply useless, what’s the point in that?” exclaims Jeff Guenther. “This leaves your partner thinking that you compare them to your last partner all the time. If you do, keep it to yourself“.
Making fun of your partner
Humor, it is well known, is a delicate thing. You can laugh with your partner, but if you start laughing at him or her, it can become hurtful. “Occasional teasing is OK if you both agree to it, but if you make your partner feel bad about themselves with your jokes, and that’s the main way you show your loveit may turn against you one day” warns the expert.
Don’t use “always” and “never”
You’re always like this, you never do that… Jeff Guenther warns about using these words, “always” and “never”, too extreme according to him. “That’s never a good way to start a conversation.” he recalls. “Because 99% of the time it’s not true” he concludes.