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We don’t talk about it much in the relational sphere, yet emotional intelligence is an important quality in a relationship. How do you know if your partner shows this? Here are four signs that don’t lie, according to an expert.
People with emotional intelligence are generally healthy. They have an ability to communicate a fundamental respect for others. So many qualities that allow a couple – and the difficulties they go through – to last over time.
How do you know if your partner has this type of intelligence? Here are four signs that don’t lie, according to Kandi Wiens, a senior fellow at the University of Pennsylvania’s Graduate School of Education and a speaker on emotional intelligence, resilience and burnout.
What is emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is an intelligence described as having five components. We find self-awareness, which is the ability to know, recognize and understand one’s own emotions, but also the fact of demonstrating self-regulation, intrinsic motivation, empathy and social skills.
This intelligence therefore allows those who are gifted with it to better experience their relationships and interactions with others. Precious when entering into a relationship, which will (inevitably!) experience ups and downs.
What are the signs that show emotional intelligence in a person?
If you’re planning to date someone, it can be helpful to know if they have this quality. People with emotional intelligence typically exhibit these four signs:
They can engage in conflict in a healthy way, with you
Conflicts occur in all couples. What differentiates them, however, is the way in which they will be managed by both parties. A person with emotional intelligence will not dominate the exchange, attack you, or engage in abusive behavior. She will not run away from conflict either, although she may get angry or shout, but will apologize afterwards, if necessary.
They are able to see things from your point of view
When we are gifted with emotional intelligence, we demonstrate empathy which makes it easier to put ourselves in the place of others and understand them. A faculty that facilitates building trust with your partner. To notice it, it’s quite simple: is this person sincerely interested in what you do? Does she listen to you with interest, without diverting the conversation towards herself, as a self-centered person would do? There is a good chance that she is gifted with emotional intelligence.
They are able to manage their emotions well
Having the ability to regulate your emotions does not mean denying them, but rather learning to manage them when they are negative as well as the stress that accompanies them. Walking, meditation, or breathing exercises can help. To find out if your partner has this ability, you can observe him when he has to manage his emotions: does he adopt one of these methods? If so, this shows high emotional intelligence potential, again.
They let you be (really) yourself
Finally, the last sign that reveals a person with high emotional intelligence: they let you be yourself, because they don’t feel threatened by difference or demand that you be perfect or change to please them (which is the case in a toxic relationship, on the other hand). She will be delighted to see you spending time alone or busying yourself with your favorite hobby. In short, it will push you to be the best version of yourself!
Slide: The keys to a healthy argument