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in collaboration with
Siyana Mincheva (Psychologist, psychotherapist)
Infidelity is unacceptable for many people in relationships. But sometimes, instead of breaking up, some choose to overcome the ordeal. How to do it ? Here are three tips from Siyana Mincheva, psychologist.
In a relationship, it can happen that one of the two partners cheats on the other. This situation of infidelity, very difficult to live with, is however not insurmountable. Proof of this is people who choose to “turn the page” and forgive their spouse. But how to do it ? Here are the answers from Siyana Mincheva, psychologist.
First key: face the situation
For the expert, if there was infidelity, it was because the relationship was fragile. “TVery often, in a relationship, we don’t want to see the flaws and we especially don’t want to think that our partner is cheating on us.” explains Siyana Mincheva. “We deprive ourselves of our objectivity because we do not want to accept that we had been betrayed“.
Once we become aware of the situation and the shock passes, there is a moment of reflection during which it is essential to face the situation. “It is from this moment when we realize our value and what we deserve because very often the best is ahead of us and the worst behind. In any case, it takes time for the disappointment of betrayal is digested. It is therefore necessary to give yourself time without putting pressure on yourself. In time, we will heal.” assures the specialist.
Second key: keep an objective point of view of the situation
To overcome infidelity, you must “knowing how to look the truth straight in the eye, therefore being able to bring an objective point of view to the situation” adds the psychologist. “Very often, we devalue ourselves. Deception destabilizes and we think we can’t recover from it. All this is a distorted view because emotional dependence and fear of abandonment have manifested themselves. specifies Siyana Mincheva. According to her, people who have an abandonment injury most often suffer from emotional dependence.
Finally, for the expert, it is necessary subsequently to question the reasons for this infidelity. “To do this, you must keep anger at bay and not make a decision in the event of emotion.” she estimates. “IYou have to talk with loved ones who are listening or start psychotherapy in order to understand yourself as best as possible, by trying to find out how you got there, what you didn’t want to see or believe, what makes us feel bad… The goal is to find clear and relevant answers” she concludes.
Slide: 10 signs that prove you are dealing with a serial cheater