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Have you ever heard these thoughts from your partner? According to an American psychologist, these could reveal that you are in a relationship with a narcissistic pervert. We share with you these sentences that could affect your mental health…
During a couple’s argument, resolving problems is not always an easy task… even less so when you share your life with a narcissistic pervert. This type of person likes to use seemingly innocent phrases, but which can actually be very toxic, and have serious consequences on the mental health of the partner who suffers them. This is why it is important to know how to spot them, in order to protect yourself.
Thus, psychologist Erin Leonard revealed to the magazine Psychology Today, three sentences pronounced by a narcissistic pervert during a couple’s argument. We share them with you.
1) “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
By using this phrase, your partner can give the impression that they care about you and value your feelings. In reality, this is a subtle way of viewing your feelings as the cause of the argument. The psychologist, Erin Leonard, specifies: “In this case, your partner does not recognize his mistakes but is rather sorry for the way you are experiencing the conflict. It is a way of exonerating himself from the situation”. This behavior reveals your partner’s lack of willingness to understand the root cause of your reaction. In other words, it is a way of cutting the discussion short.
The professional gives examples of gentler and empathetic reactions, which replace the notion of guilt with that of understanding: “You are hurt, I understand that. Sorry, it was just a huge miscommunication.”.
2) “You ruined everything”
These types of sentences used by narcissistic people aim to make their partner feel guilty. It’s a way of not getting to the root of the problem by simply blaming the other person.
According to the psychologist, during a couple’s argument, narcissistic perverts would be disturbed by the fact that their partner is trying to resolve the problems. Thus, they wish to make the other understand “that he is not allowed to confront them or express any feeling in the relationship”, indicates the psychologist. If you are confronted with these types of sentences, you may feel shame or guilt…this is the goal sought by a toxic person.
Good in his body, good in his head!
3) “You have anger issues”
With this type of speech, the narcissistic partner wants to make you notice your anger while once again placing the blame on you. This is the same process as with the other sentences: it is a way of diverting the problem, of not trying to understand the cause.
Furthermore, these toxic words can actually make you angry. An unhealthy person will play on this by making you feel like a bad person.“uncontrollable”.
As psychologist Erin Leonard reminds us, “It’s human to feel anger when something in a relationship is extremely unfair. In fact, your anger may be a sign that you are being manipulated. It is also important to consider that it is your ability to verbalize and understand that you are angry during an interaction that indicates that you are handling it very well.”
So, in all three cases, the narcissistic pervert hopes to make you feel guilty, without really trying to understand the causes of your arguments. If you are regularly confronted with these types of thoughts from your partner, do not hesitate to talk to a professional who can help you.
Slide: Narcissistic pervert: 10 signs that should alert you