Published on
Updated
Reading 2 min.
in collaboration with
Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical psychologist)
Do you often find yourself ruminating? Do these negative thoughts poison your daily life? Learn to spot these beliefs that are holding you back, with the help of our expert psychologist.
“I’m rubbish“, “It’s too hard, I’ll never make it“…Many of us have already heard this famous inner “little voice”, which devalues us and parasitizes our mind. The problem? If these negative thoughts or “limiting beliefs” come back too regularly – we end up with them. to integrate.
More or less anchored intrusive thoughts
When negative ideas become overwhelming – and cloud our minds on a daily basis – it’s hard not to get overwhelmed. These repeated negative thoughts blur our perception of reality and lead us to self-sabotage.
How in this case can we believe in ourselves, faced with this flood of thoughts that prevent us from moving forward?
For Amélie Boukhbozarecognizing them is already a first step.
“Yes, we have negative thoughts that hold us back. These are more or less anchored negative and limiting beliefs about oneself“, she relates. “These thoughts are formed and will be more or less anchored according to a complex combination of psychological, environmental (trauma) and educational factors. Early experiences during childhood will play a fundamental role. Interactions with parents, guardians in general, responses to our emotional needs, etc. contribute to establishing thought patterns that can become limiting in adulthood. If a parent spends their time telling their child that they are worthless, or suggests to them that they never live up to their expectations, for example, there is a risk of reproducing similar patterns later and firmly anchor these kinds of thoughts on yourself. Likewise, an education that values success at all costs and competition can lead to limiting thoughts around the fear of failure or constant comparison with others..
However, to limit them, there is nothing better than learning to spot them. Here is a non-exhaustive list :
- “I suck”;
- “I’m not up to it”;
- “He’s not my age”;
- “I’m not good enough”;
- “I don’t deserve happiness”;
- “I don’t deserve success”;
- “Others are better than me”;
- “I have to please everyone”;
- “I am weak” ;
- “I don’t deserve to be loved”;
- “I will never make it” ;
- “I am helpless”;
- “It’s my fault” ;
- “I can’t trust myself.”
Good in his body, good in his head!
If the influence of peers and in particular of social networks has a “significant impact” on the development of negative thoughts, several small, easy-to-implement tips help to reduce this whirlwind, such as:
- To walk. “Go out for a 15 to 30 minute walk… Mobilization of the body will distract your mind from these thoughts alone” ;
- To write. “Clearing your thoughts and clarifying your emotions will stop the rumination” ;
- Practice mindfulness. “Discover how mindfulness meditation can teach you to observe how your attention works, to defocus it from just the worries that torment you and redistribute it to something else”;
- Think “positive”. “What if every evening, you ruminated a little on the good moments of the day, that you thought about them to relive them, to revive the sensations and the images?“.
Slide: 7 signs you’re self-sabotaging (and how to break free from it!)