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The new generation is increasingly adopting a new vision of the couple. They often engage in relationships that resemble being together, but without the “obligations” that this entails. Here are ten signs that show that you are probably in this situation.
Are you in a relationship that can be described as “situationship”? This new couple model comes from the English contraction of the words “situation” and “relationship”, and designates a relationship “without labels, which cannot be qualified”.
In short, a relationship between two individuals who function as a couple but who do not impose the rules on each other, following the wishes of one or both members. But this type of relationship can make a person who is looking for true love suffer.
So how do you know if you’re venturing into this type of relationship? Here are 10 unmistakable signs, deciphered by experts interviewed by the Women’s Health media.
The relationship has no natural evolution
In a situationship, the relationship stagnates and does not pass the usual milestones. Your other half isn’t talking to you about moving in together or meeting his family. If this lasts, it’s another negative signal: your partner probably doesn’t want anything more with you.
Your relationship has no coherence
According to Christie Tcharkhoutian, relationship coach cited by Women’s Health magazine “If your partner doesn’t ask you out three times a week, don’t expect him to in the future”. The frequency of meetings and activities counts in defining a couple. If you see each other irregularly, this is also a sign of situationship.
You only make short-term or last-minute plans
Couples who share things have long-term plans. Holidays, weekends, outings… The schedule is generally known in advance. If your partner is reluctant to organize activities with you or if he only asks you for last-minute plans, this may also be a sign that he is not looking to go further than a situationship with you.
Your conversations remain superficial
Although you have been talking for months, your conversations are reduced to banalities. “Without trust there is no vulnerability, and without vulnerability there is no emotional closeness” says relationship expert Abby Medcalf. Superficial conversations do not allow you to establish this emotional connection, which is necessary for any stable relationship.
Your partner is involved with other people
If your partner is involved with other people, for romantic or intimate relationships without your consent, this is a bad sign. “If you discover that your partner is having a romantic or sexual relationship with one or more other people, you may be in a situation.”confirms therapist Saba Harouni Lurie.
Your partner always uses the same vague excuses
Another sign that should alert you: if your partner always gives you the same excuses to explain his absences, without planning anything so that you can spend time together. “In a relationship, you take the time to take care of your partner, regardless of other life events.” still believes Christie Tcharkhoutian.
You don’t talk about the future
You don’t talk about the future of your relationship at all, even though you’ve been together for a long time.”If you haven’t discussed the future and what you’re looking for, it might be a sign that you’re in a situationship.” also says Abby Medcalf.
You are often anxious
Our feelings sometimes make us understand that the relationship we are living is not working. Do you feel anxiety, for example, when you think about your relationship or your time spent with your partner? This can also be a sign of situationship.
According to Abby Medcalf, “You know you are in a situationship when you feel anxious because there is uncertainty, ambiguity and ambivalence.”
Your partner tells you he doesn’t want anything serious
If your partner tells you they’re not looking for anything serious, that couldn’t be clearer! We must draw the necessary consequences and not hope that this will develop into a serious relationship.
You’re bored
If, despite an idyllic start, you quickly feel bored, it may be because your relationship is not evolving enough, that you are not spending enough time together and that you are heading towards a situationship.If the relationship is vague, directionless and unstructured, it will wither away.” concludes Christie Tcharkhoutian.
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